Monday, June 27, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
my lifestyle
its 408 am now n everyone has went to sleep. =) which is great hehe.
updates: xz went for reservist training for 2 weeks :(
: ting is going to thailand from friday to tuesday :(
playing dota is realli an addiction, not tt i juz noe it after like so many months of playing it. i mean after all those hours of dota i've clocked, i think overall i'm quite satisfied at my standard of playing. hence i shall cut down n eventually stop for good.
y? because playing dota doesn't help my life. because playing dota has no connections to my ambitions. because i think there's a cap how li hai i can be at dota n i'm veri near tt limit. because i no longer enjoy e game. =)
4 games of dota per day..........maximum. slowly slowly cut down.
my ps2 is gone for good......... or rather my brother's ps2 is in taiwan wif him. juz when there r so many nice games to play.............. =(((( i wanna train e tennis game!!!
shall look less at e computer screen..........shall think more.............shall read more...............shall listen more. ting take care on ur flight later, i'll miss u. =)
updates: xz went for reservist training for 2 weeks :(
: ting is going to thailand from friday to tuesday :(
playing dota is realli an addiction, not tt i juz noe it after like so many months of playing it. i mean after all those hours of dota i've clocked, i think overall i'm quite satisfied at my standard of playing. hence i shall cut down n eventually stop for good.
y? because playing dota doesn't help my life. because playing dota has no connections to my ambitions. because i think there's a cap how li hai i can be at dota n i'm veri near tt limit. because i no longer enjoy e game. =)
4 games of dota per day..........maximum. slowly slowly cut down.
my ps2 is gone for good......... or rather my brother's ps2 is in taiwan wif him. juz when there r so many nice games to play.............. =(((( i wanna train e tennis game!!!
shall look less at e computer screen..........shall think more.............shall read more...............shall listen more. ting take care on ur flight later, i'll miss u. =)
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
a helping hand
sometimes when one is realli down n suffering from major depression, he too can't help himself nor keep his depressed mood under control. no matter how hard he tries, no matter how much we encourage him to 振作. i understand it well cause i've been there b4. e feeling of being swept into e big sea by waves.................e feeling of helplessness n e feeling of struggling to keep ourselves afloat.
some ppl may not understand y they can't help themselves or pull themselves out of this misery that they r self-inflicting on themselves. they dun understand cause they haven't been there b4.........
sometimes certain things happen......they affect us a lot.........we changed....................we dun love ourselves that much anymore............its because things dun work out, so we put blame on ourselves, blame ourselves for not being good enough, for not being good enough to deserve wat we ought to deserve. its this self-blame that prevents us from helping ourselves when we need it e most. we indulge in self-pity, that magnitude of hurt of noeing that we r not good enough, torturing us every minute, making our heart bleed.
this is e time when they'll stretch out their hands to find ppl to help them, help them find back themselves..........its an inevitable proces - they need ppl around them to support them so that they can start to love themselves again. all they need is a lot of time n support.
so rem to stretch out ur hands to help those ppl in need of our help ya? its worthwhile e effort i assure u. thru e downs of our lives, we learn more in e process. for me, ever since that period i've loved myself much much more than b4.... so now its my turn to stick out a helping hand. Grab it! =)
some ppl may not understand y they can't help themselves or pull themselves out of this misery that they r self-inflicting on themselves. they dun understand cause they haven't been there b4.........
sometimes certain things happen......they affect us a lot.........we changed....................we dun love ourselves that much anymore............its because things dun work out, so we put blame on ourselves, blame ourselves for not being good enough, for not being good enough to deserve wat we ought to deserve. its this self-blame that prevents us from helping ourselves when we need it e most. we indulge in self-pity, that magnitude of hurt of noeing that we r not good enough, torturing us every minute, making our heart bleed.
this is e time when they'll stretch out their hands to find ppl to help them, help them find back themselves..........its an inevitable proces - they need ppl around them to support them so that they can start to love themselves again. all they need is a lot of time n support.
so rem to stretch out ur hands to help those ppl in need of our help ya? its worthwhile e effort i assure u. thru e downs of our lives, we learn more in e process. for me, ever since that period i've loved myself much much more than b4.... so now its my turn to stick out a helping hand. Grab it! =)
Saturday, June 18, 2005
=)=)
quiet time at nite. my mind kinda feel more peaceful so i shall blog now :)
juz read weijie's blog.......hmmm i realli share his sentiments n thoughts. perhaps at times we haf to keep our mouths shut for our own good..... but how tough it is to do so. how tough it is to stop acting on e impulse n say something nasty or sarcastic in e spur of e moment. things that u noe once spoken out won't do u any good.
i've been watching 有福 everyday w/o fail. personally i think its a veri nice show wif a good plot. sometimes juz pondering abt e plot also makes me think a lot. those who watch e show should noe that e lead (christopher lee) likes jialing (ann kok), hmmm in e end jialing marries another man which presumably hurts her veri much so i guess maybe at e end she hopes to have another chance wif christopher lee again. hmmm, maybe time does tell us who's e person who realli loves us a lot w/o any demanding any gratification. maybe it does. lets see wat e ending is shall we? =)
choosing wat thoughts we place in our minds determines our paths in life............
these few days there was a thought that plagued mine.......
"even if i had all e money n wealth in e world, i noe i won't be happie cause u r not here to share it wif me"
perhaps choosing to allow this thought to dwell within me has caused me a lot of hurt n sadness.
so maybe i should vacant my mind of thoughts so tt i still can feel that life is still positive.
quote from adrian's blog: 如果我有一棵快乐草，我会把它送给你，因为我希望你快乐。 如果我有两棵快乐草，我会送你一棵，自己留一棵，因为我希望我们都快乐。 如果我有三棵快乐草，我会送你两棵，自己留一棵，因为我希望你比我更快乐。
i onli had one 快乐草 which i gave to u. its tough looking for another one for myself. perhaps it will take a long time to find it. or perhaps there's someone out there who will give me her 快乐草. =) nvrtheless, i noe its worth waiting for.
juz read weijie's blog.......hmmm i realli share his sentiments n thoughts. perhaps at times we haf to keep our mouths shut for our own good..... but how tough it is to do so. how tough it is to stop acting on e impulse n say something nasty or sarcastic in e spur of e moment. things that u noe once spoken out won't do u any good.
i've been watching 有福 everyday w/o fail. personally i think its a veri nice show wif a good plot. sometimes juz pondering abt e plot also makes me think a lot. those who watch e show should noe that e lead (christopher lee) likes jialing (ann kok), hmmm in e end jialing marries another man which presumably hurts her veri much so i guess maybe at e end she hopes to have another chance wif christopher lee again. hmmm, maybe time does tell us who's e person who realli loves us a lot w/o any demanding any gratification. maybe it does. lets see wat e ending is shall we? =)
choosing wat thoughts we place in our minds determines our paths in life............
these few days there was a thought that plagued mine.......
"even if i had all e money n wealth in e world, i noe i won't be happie cause u r not here to share it wif me"
perhaps choosing to allow this thought to dwell within me has caused me a lot of hurt n sadness.
so maybe i should vacant my mind of thoughts so tt i still can feel that life is still positive.
quote from adrian's blog: 如果我有一棵快乐草，我会把它送给你，因为我希望你快乐。 如果我有两棵快乐草，我会送你一棵，自己留一棵，因为我希望我们都快乐。 如果我有三棵快乐草，我会送你两棵，自己留一棵，因为我希望你比我更快乐。
i onli had one 快乐草 which i gave to u. its tough looking for another one for myself. perhaps it will take a long time to find it. or perhaps there's someone out there who will give me her 快乐草. =) nvrtheless, i noe its worth waiting for.
Monday, June 13, 2005
new resolution
enjoying good food is a luxury.... dun u guys agree? its easily to be contented wif a few dishes of delicacies in front of u. =)
saturday was a wonderful day. soccer was veri fun n enjoyable n stress-free especially wif 自己人。was kinda comparing my mood during this soccer session n e one juz after exams...... glad that i've cheered up a lot n looked forward liao.
kudos to yh for suggesting that we head down to adam's road food center for dinner. Was simply marvellous, fantastic. =) i enjoyed e food there lotz. of coz, e company mattered as well. e nasi lemak i ordered was fantastic, think i'll bring ting there soon to eat. =) hehehe, good things i always rem her one. its nice to engage in big conversations wif 7-8 frens hahaha wonder if u ppl haf a chance to do tt. hahah veri funnie when 7 ppl aim one person n talk abt his gossip. of coz these type of things r not meant in a malicious way, hahaha sooner or later everyone will be under close scrutiny. 风水轮流转。
i've made a resolution for next sem. ----------- which is i'll attend all my tutorial classes even if they r 8am in e morning. of coz, i'll not make a resolution to go for all lectures hahaha u guys juz need to sit in a chem engin lesson n see wat i'm doing inside there. cn5 ppl should noe me well. tt's also e reason y i dun go for my lectures cause since i dun listen, i feel paiseh going there to chat wif frens n bothering them when they r trying hard to focus on e lesson.
summary of last sem tutorials: attended all pdc (control) tutorials *even took cab sometimes*
attended only 1 of e weekly MTO tutorials (1/11)
attended all bio tutorials (cause there were onli 3 n got take attendance)
attended less than half of e kinetics tutorial (5/11)
hehehe, looks like i got a lot to work on. =)
summary of last sem lectures: attended abt 30% of pdc lectures
attended onli 1 out of 12 MTO lectures
attended abt 75% of bio lectures
attended abt 40% of kinetics lectures.
erm, i give up on my lecture attendences. =P
saturday was a wonderful day. soccer was veri fun n enjoyable n stress-free especially wif 自己人。was kinda comparing my mood during this soccer session n e one juz after exams...... glad that i've cheered up a lot n looked forward liao.
kudos to yh for suggesting that we head down to adam's road food center for dinner. Was simply marvellous, fantastic. =) i enjoyed e food there lotz. of coz, e company mattered as well. e nasi lemak i ordered was fantastic, think i'll bring ting there soon to eat. =) hehehe, good things i always rem her one. its nice to engage in big conversations wif 7-8 frens hahaha wonder if u ppl haf a chance to do tt. hahah veri funnie when 7 ppl aim one person n talk abt his gossip. of coz these type of things r not meant in a malicious way, hahaha sooner or later everyone will be under close scrutiny. 风水轮流转。
i've made a resolution for next sem. ----------- which is i'll attend all my tutorial classes even if they r 8am in e morning. of coz, i'll not make a resolution to go for all lectures hahaha u guys juz need to sit in a chem engin lesson n see wat i'm doing inside there. cn5 ppl should noe me well. tt's also e reason y i dun go for my lectures cause since i dun listen, i feel paiseh going there to chat wif frens n bothering them when they r trying hard to focus on e lesson.
summary of last sem tutorials: attended all pdc (control) tutorials *even took cab sometimes*
attended only 1 of e weekly MTO tutorials (1/11)
attended all bio tutorials (cause there were onli 3 n got take attendance)
attended less than half of e kinetics tutorial (5/11)
hehehe, looks like i got a lot to work on. =)
summary of last sem lectures: attended abt 30% of pdc lectures
attended onli 1 out of 12 MTO lectures
attended abt 75% of bio lectures
attended abt 40% of kinetics lectures.
erm, i give up on my lecture attendences. =P
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
can things be e same again?
we've all been in this situation b4...
we fall in love wif someone special, unfortunately things dun work out..... inevitably, will lead to avoiding n ignoring e other party.............we feel hurt, noeing that things can no longer be as beautiful as b4............
E sad thing is this whole process is an irreversible one.
Faced wif a decision to either let things stay in this bad state for a long period of time or to try to work hard to go back to where it originally was...................................
can things be e same ever again? can wat happen be forgotten?
i dun noe............but i guess we can try......sometimes we haf to be selfless n keep trying...........for e sake of not losing tt precious friendship.
we fall in love wif someone special, unfortunately things dun work out..... inevitably, will lead to avoiding n ignoring e other party.............we feel hurt, noeing that things can no longer be as beautiful as b4............
E sad thing is this whole process is an irreversible one.
Faced wif a decision to either let things stay in this bad state for a long period of time or to try to work hard to go back to where it originally was...................................
can things be e same ever again? can wat happen be forgotten?
i dun noe............but i guess we can try......sometimes we haf to be selfless n keep trying...........for e sake of not losing tt precious friendship.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
standstill
i realised e thoughts in my mind has come to a standstill, maybe that's e reason why my blog entries have stopped as well.........i stand here, feeling lost n looking all around me. where should i go on from here? how long should i take to decide where to move on?
i shall blog abt some 真心话。 真心话 is a veri appropriate phrase to describe these thoughts cause they realli come from deep down within me...
=) everyone of us in this world is a veri unique n special individual............we live in this big world where billions of other individuals reside in too..... i'm sure a lot of us has questioned wats our purpose in life. maybe we were brought into this world to study hard, work hard then die......... If u look at it from a simple perspective, we live for 70 years in this world then we vanish from it. simple as that. so why not die now? doesn't make a diff i guess.......... between now n later, we all haf to die....
i guess we all live n exist in this world for a simple reason.......each one of us live on for e same reason..... Every passing day of our lives, i'm sure we all live our lives e best way we know how, perhaps occasionally stumbling along e way........ This reason nvrtheless is simple, each of us has within him/her a strong sense of self worth, we live each day so that ppl can see recognise our worth, to validate our existence..... we hope that ppl understand us, love us cause we noe we r worthy of that love n understanding.
that's wat separates e true friends, family n bfs/gfs from e hi/bye friends or ppl we dun noe. they give us massive love, support, self belief......cause we r worthy of it. sigh, sometimes it hurts veri veri badly when u noe that ppl around u do not cherish ur existence nor recognise ur self worth. tt feeling sucks..................................big time. in short, we live this life remembering n cherishing e ppl who brought worth into our lives for us............Its a priceless feeling.........
ting, u r perhaps e onli person who truely sees all my worth n cherish it........n for that veri simple reason, u've been e onli person to haf walked e straight path into my heart. 谢谢你. tonite will be a marvellous sting ray dinner wif u. *hugz*
i shall blog abt some 真心话。 真心话 is a veri appropriate phrase to describe these thoughts cause they realli come from deep down within me...
=) everyone of us in this world is a veri unique n special individual............we live in this big world where billions of other individuals reside in too..... i'm sure a lot of us has questioned wats our purpose in life. maybe we were brought into this world to study hard, work hard then die......... If u look at it from a simple perspective, we live for 70 years in this world then we vanish from it. simple as that. so why not die now? doesn't make a diff i guess.......... between now n later, we all haf to die....
i guess we all live n exist in this world for a simple reason.......each one of us live on for e same reason..... Every passing day of our lives, i'm sure we all live our lives e best way we know how, perhaps occasionally stumbling along e way........ This reason nvrtheless is simple, each of us has within him/her a strong sense of self worth, we live each day so that ppl can see recognise our worth, to validate our existence..... we hope that ppl understand us, love us cause we noe we r worthy of that love n understanding.
that's wat separates e true friends, family n bfs/gfs from e hi/bye friends or ppl we dun noe. they give us massive love, support, self belief......cause we r worthy of it. sigh, sometimes it hurts veri veri badly when u noe that ppl around u do not cherish ur existence nor recognise ur self worth. tt feeling sucks..................................big time. in short, we live this life remembering n cherishing e ppl who brought worth into our lives for us............Its a priceless feeling.........
ting, u r perhaps e onli person who truely sees all my worth n cherish it........n for that veri simple reason, u've been e onli person to haf walked e straight path into my heart. 谢谢你. tonite will be a marvellous sting ray dinner wif u. *hugz*
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