xingyou's blog =p

Lol

2009-08-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

Haaa been a while since i updated. LoL basically i failed driving test on 07/03 but e best part is i bought car on 07/12 keke without a licence and then i got my COE on 07/22. Hahaha nono i'm not going crazy, there was a 10% discount of 4k excluding COE price so i just decided to buy during the 2 day promotion period lor. Keke.

These few days bought my first lot of shares as well! Haha this one got dividend payout one! A little bit but feels good to be getting another source of money other than my day job.... =)

It's exciting to think of the things i can do conveniently with the car, hahaha and the far and nice and not so accessible places that i can explore and go. Will be much easier to meet up with frens as well. Haa it will be an action-packed 2nd half of the year!

Fast forward to 08/15! Hahaha my 2nd driving test! =) Wish me luck!

tots

2009-06-23T23:01:00.002+08:00

i was just chatting wif Nic that day on msn when i told him that this period of time in our lives is probably the most critical one....

How we are going to respond to the challenges/disappointments in this phase of our lives is going to shape our character and our attitudes to life later on....

From now on, it is our path to choose..........the path to successful, happy living or the path to a miserable and mediocre life. N that choice is ours...............

Bottomless Pit

2009-06-17T22:02:00.003+08:00

Life seems to be hard............. just had the most torrid day ever at work yesterday 06/16. Morning till 9 PM non-stop working. 1230pm my boss came over n told me kena e same excursion again wah sian then 3 bosses came over my table discuss until 4pm. Sigh hit by the same excursion twice in a row and the second time due to communication/passdown issue = damn damn jialat. In e end i didn't eat lunch, pia 3 different powerpoint files for my bosses then went back close to 9pm.

When i was young, whenever i see and think abt the ppl who have gotten demoralised and unable to recover from setbacks in their life (take their setbacks as damn personal and big issues) i always shrug. I've always tot it was damn easy to stand up and learn the lesson... Hmm but when you are hit with them, e feeling is like being flattened by a gigantic rock and hitting the bottomless pit..............

Thks for xz who gave me a listening ear 2 times already this week......... sometimes its hard to pull myself up by myself after a bad fall....... thks for giving me e much needed helping hand.

Okie time to face the music, bite the bullet for this excursion and then move on after lesson learnt. Out of the bottomless pit now....................... come on.

Reservist

2009-06-14T22:44:00.005+08:00

Lol, just finished my one week reservist at Sungei Gedong camp. Haha got posted to 435SAR so now i'm officially part of the ARMOUR family. Cui =(

Got posted to be an AI spec.... AI basically stands for armoured infantry. Haa if u play red alert its the soldiers who get onto e APC, then move around then dismount n attack. =S Freaking xiong can. LOL! Made 15 odd very good frens there haa guess my social skills is improving, i can basically talk a lot of cock n be one of those who still can remain positive in-camp. Haa e others wear green = low morale liao la. HAHAHAHAHA wear helmet even worse = totally can't think.

Went in already my camera kena confiscated by them haa cause of e camera function n i realised only got 2 cocks out of 800 kena this. Hahahaha everyone else noes muz bring non-camera phone. HAHAHAHA in e end go to emart n use their phone loaning service 3 bucks per day. damn cui phone with no dictionary!!! n onli e yellow coloured lighting. As cui as e 3210 nokia grandfather phone.

After coming out, tot to myself muz realli cherish time with family n frens man need to stop taking things for granted everyday. Haa super happie recently, my best fren nic is back! Lol looking forward to enjoying all e wonderful things in life!! Getting ready for the exciting life after passing driving............ fast forward to 03/07!!!!

Found it!

2009-06-02T22:35:00.003+08:00

i have finally found the one thing i wanted the most........................... and i'm damn happie to have found it! The wait was long but eventually it was worth it........ =)

i've found the passion in my life.............the direction finally.......i've found the map of my life after wandering about for so long....... There will be no more feelings of being lost, unmotivated, upset, sorry for myself and despair..... at last!

Hmm dunno how to describe the feeling, its very very empowering and motivating haa of coz i cannot disclose the reason y as well... Yea and dun misunderstand its not getting attached or something like that, it just feels great to have a clear direction to go from now onwards....

Updates Updates

2009-05-28T13:12:00.003+08:00

Haa i think i'm one of the very few ppl who still occasionally blog now and then. Keke okieokie updates on my stuff!!

Driving: My driving test date is on 03/07/09 wish me luck!!! i took 22 lessons already think got 4 more to go! Lol. Cui spend abt $2.2k liao. As for passing chance, i think 50/50 bah for my driving skills. Desperately want to pass as COE prices are SOARING.....

Friends: Oh one of my close guy frens is attached recently and another one will be soon!!! Hahaha congrats and so happie for them! =) Went to play texas hold'em with my JC frens till 430pm last friday. hahaha its a good feeling to meet >10 frens at one time and play cards throughout the night. ROFL. Yea and they are all doing so well, in terms of work, money and r/s.

Work: This week work is still fine, past 3 weeks it was horrible............... Sobz 1 excursion, tool uptime <70% which is freaking cui. There were days i went work saw the tool status and black face afterwards, haa i am emotional at work...... My boss mentioned abt an important fact. You argue emotionally, you lose your chain of tots and then u lose the argument. But that's not for me, i always win arguments at work. Hahahaha.

Funnie

2009-05-10T21:56:00.002+08:00

Realisation

2009-04-15T23:46:00.003+08:00

Today i finally geniunely experienced a special type of feeling inside me for the first time in my life, hmm it is best described by this quote "At times, i am content to be myself and have nothing to prove to myself or anyone else".

At that moment, i felt very happie and truly happie............... felt liberated from those feelings of pain that have been inside me for some time.......

Walls

2009-03-20T17:25:00.002+08:00

Another inspirational paragraph...........

Nobody gets a smooth ride. Every now and then we all face challenges, and we all hit walls. While facing death, Professor Randy Pausch explained in his now famous last lecture that those walls are there for a specific purpose. They are made to keep all of those who don't want it badly enough OUT. You however are the exception. You will find a way to continue forward and make it past that wall.

When was the last time u were touched by something ur close frens did for u? i think i've found a very close fren at work, haaa someone whom i noe will always be my fren if one day either one of us leaves the company. Was very touched that day when he waited 1.5hrs for me to finish my weekly before driving me down for dinner in the East with the rest of my colleagues. =) been very long since anyone gave me that feeling. Sounds damn gay right. HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

There are 2 types of ppl in this world......
1) One who goes out with other ppl to make them feel good abt themselves
2) One who goes out and makes other ppl feel good abt themselves

i wonder wat my score is on a scale of 1-10 for these 2 extremes.....wat abt urs? i shall resolve to become a better person who goes out n makes others feel good. Lol. Quiz haa so who's e ideal person who we can all learn from?

ting =)

Impending Reorganization

2009-02-24T22:58:00.002+08:00

Awaiting news of my module reorganization............ should be out by friday this week. I will be affected as well..... its been rumoured that i'll change job scope and take on more responsibilities.... from owner of 9 tools to 15 or more? =S more concerned abt the highly prob change in shift from sunday-thurs to tues-sat....... sigh no more sat soccer liao...... =(

I apologize if i have offended anyone recently. It was unintentional on my part and i'm sorry if i've hurt your feelings. Hope things will be back to normal k? =) have been in a cranky mood recently, dunno y.

Tribute

2008-12-16T00:27:00.003+08:00

This blog entry is a tribute to Matt's mum who passed away on last friday 12/12 aged 51. i have many fond memories of the times i spend at matt's house gaming/overnight/chitchat/playing over the years since J2. Hmm his mum is always so friendly, nice, caring and giving. Quite sad tt she's gone now when she's still so young... sigh.

Well i guess this is a reminder that life is short, tt we should always cherish e moment to do wat we wanna do and spend as much time with family/frens when we can. Pursue our dreams and live life with no regrets..... Enjoy life to the fullest and make a difference (good) to the ppl around us.

Maybe this is the reason y in these recent months there have been a change in my attitude towards life/lifestyle. Learning driving has been a very fantastic experience for me, buying the things i think i deserve to have that i tot were too ex last time, going out for fun activities and trying out new stuff all the time, spending lots of quality time with family/frens and create those special memories which will last a long long time. =)

Wrong choice of industry???

2008-11-08T12:16:00.002+08:00

This article is interesting. Haaa

Have u

2008-10-19T21:57:00.002+08:00

ever went to work n feel that for the entire day u dun feel like doing any work? Haa. That was exactly wat i felt today and also exactly wat i did today................................nothing. Got quite a bit of stuff to do but totally not in e mood = heck... Haha do u guys feel this way sometimes?

"Go to a job because u love it, not because u need the check"

Class Photo

2008-10-04T03:05:00.018+08:00

Latest 99S65 Class Photo taken at Hao En's Wedding. Hmm i should go upload e school album one to compare and contrast. Haha. In case ppl still haven't realised, i dyed my hair colour =P

Pictures of my family doggie

simple quote

2008-09-26T12:07:00.003+08:00

i like this quote its super nice.....

"If you possess the ability to learn from your mistakes, then failure is literally impossible, because each failure brings you closer to perfection"

Spate of poor health

2008-09-17T22:58:00.003+08:00

Took urgent leave from work today, hmm wasn't feeling too well cause kena slight fever again. Seems like i didn't realli recover from the acute bronchitis which i suffered during the month of May. Already sick for 4 times in 5 months. Had an overdose of antibiotics then n didn't realli recover so guess my immunity system is not in good shape. Morale of e story? Dun take so much antibiotics. LoL.

Drove into the heart of bukit timah with minjie and ys that day to fetch ys to his fren's house there. Got kinda lost and went past quite a number of houses. Singapore really got a lot of rich folks man, some of e houses looked freaking nice, big and realli............... out of imagination. Even went past 1 house that was like 4-5 storeys high. =S

A lot of ppl say u dun need to be rich to be happie, well i guess u can be rich and happie at the same time right? The belief of dichotomy between rich and happiness seems to be a limiting belief. Seems like the richest rewards that life can offer one is when one is willing to bear the risk that accompanies life's biggest decisions. Such as being able to bear the risk of quitting a stable job to pursue one's interest in other arenas. E risk of confessing your love that special person can be very high, but the rewards can be worthwhile. E risk of doing something different, something special that's not mainstream and could be subjected to many disapproving opinions from frens/family. Well, life seems to reward those who tried, those who take risks and those who aren't afraid to bounce back from failure. Easier said than done of coz, there's only a handful of ppl who will eventually make it. We only live once this lifetime, have you taken your fair share of risks to pursue what you realli wan in life? =)

*I might be able to afford the smallest house in bukit timah if i work as an engineer for 30 years. Sad right? Haha."

Time for a car?

2008-08-24T20:53:00.003+08:00

i'm realli giving a serious tot to getting a car, i realised that its realli important to be able to enjoy the finer things in life. =) mazda3? Keke.

Settling for second best

2008-08-11T23:45:00.003+08:00

i also dunno how i got started haha went and read thru all my 2005 blog entries man. So much memories!!! =) wah i realise that time i realli think a lot abt life man. Of coz nowadays i dun think so much liao la, its work, reach home rest, sleep, then work again. Haaa. Lol. Haa looking through all e 2005 entries, i think i've matured a lot since then and have become mentally much stronger!

I was just talking to miaoling the other day...... and telling her how i feel. "Nvr settle for second best, there might be room for regret later on in life." We have to remind ourselves that we deserve and are worthy of the best things in life for ourselves and fight/work hard for those things....... Hmm but she didn't realli agree la, 80% she reckoned is good enough. Haa but for me only 100% will do i guess, i wanna live a life of no regrets. =) How about u?

negative thinking

2008-06-01T22:58:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to feel sick of thinking negatively........ i mean not that i'm thinking negatively persistently but i think everyone is bound to have some extent of negative thinking daily on the different aspects on their life.

i'm also getting sick of thinking abt wat i can't do, or can't achieve or got no time for........... it seems to be like a habitual excuse that's very convenient for me.

I've made a decision to think not abt wat i can't achieve but wat i need to do to achieve my goals, who i need to improve to become to get to the finishing line. And how to prioritize my commitments to make out the time i need.

I've made a decision to consciously think positively every minute of my life from this moment onwards! =) how abt you?

Photos

2008-04-14T22:58:00.010+08:00

Yo guys! haa how's everyone? this is the start of my 3rd week in day shift! =) i think my bioclock is more or less adjusted to day shift timing liao. Good good but end up gotta work more hours and spend more time at my job.

Time to post some photos!!! =) long awaited photos. Haa.

Pic of my dog in a cute position

Lindy and Miaoling's present for me from Japan!! (Front View)

(Side View)

Me at the entrance of the genting casino. Keke

Pic of me and my good fren Casper (dunno why there's such a big hole between us)

Group photo of the whole gang: Photo, Diffusion, Wet and Thinfilm MEs (i'm from Thinfilm =p)

Okie think shall stop now. Tired liao wanna go sleep. Will try to blog more lor. N go out more with frens! Haa

wednesday afternoons

2008-03-26T15:46:00.002+08:00

Ever since my work life in night shift started, wednesday afternoons have took on a special meaning in my life. Haa perhaps its equivalent to most ppl's sunday night before the next week of hectic work. Its also the time of the week where i'll feel more sentimental and nostalgic, dun ask me why i'm not sure also. Haa

This will be my last free wednesday afternoon as this week will be my last week in night shift. Guess its time to reflect on my past 6 months in night shift, which has probably been the most character shaping time period of my life other than in the army. Firstly, i wanna say sorry to many of frens whom i've met less or neglected over this period of time with my weird and abnormal work schedule timings. Its been very demoralising not to be able to attend much or even any class outings on friday nights. Its been demoralising that i'm unable to play soccer every week with my frens.

This also signals the end of my stint in my company as a manufacturing engineer. i believe i've realli learnt a lot in this role esp in night shift where there are like 20 tons of things to look at and prioritize and keep my shift moving ahead positively. Not to mention getting "F" many times over in the day because of screw-up incidents. Haaa. Overall i think i did picked up many lessons in man management, multitasking abilities and prioritizing my tasks and projects which will remain with me for a long while i guess.

WELL, I'M BACK IN DAY SHIFT SOON!!!!!! SO IT MEANS i can go OUT every night to meet FRIENDS!!!! haa hopefully i dun haf too much OT to do. =) well at least i try to meet up right? n my work timing is a bit more normal now. Haa. Cheers! Looking forward to meeting up with friends often, play soccer on sat, class outings and many many more!!! =D

PS3

2007-12-05T10:35:00.000+08:00

Todae, the chem engin ppl in my company will be organising a farewell dinner. =) farewell dinner to Dunstan who will be leaving us for an offshore company based in Dubai. Sigh... its a wonder how fast time flies now already 6 months into working life. Haa but i guess its still okie cause Dunstan is part of my soccer gang, i think i'll still be able to keep in contact with him. Hehe. But its still a sad feeling when you have frens leaving the work place.

That topic aside, haha the happening thing was that NIC BOUGHT PS3 which obviously is not very cheap la. Haa so out of free will N GENEROSITY haha, me n xz decided him to sponsor him something. haa.

Xz sponsored him with 1 x wireless controller that costs 66 bucks haa.

Hahaha i sponsored him with the game....Muz declare now to claim credit. LOL. Todae's e start of my short week. YAY! =)

bday celebration (my age is secret)

2007-11-21T11:43:00.000+08:00

hahaa. oh had quite a fun and memorable bday celebration with pj, ting, yz, alice, and veron haa n 4 of them took leave so that we can go ktv and have a nice dinner celebration. *touched* hahaha e day passed so fast..... whizzed past juz like that. keke. okie here's my bday cake!! which i think looks veri nice and taste veri nice leh.

nice right? keke i think it looks fantastic leh. My mum ate some of it and said it was veri veri nice. haa *感动*

3 pretty gals..... hehe dunno wat they posing sia..... 2+2=4??? this shot u guys can see there's a lot of candles on my cake. :S haa

Anyway thx to everyone who wished me well or pei me these few days. haaa veri nice to be treated by the gals and also treated by miaomiao and lindy yesterday. E whole dinner we were blabbering nonsense and crap but dunno y it feels so good to be nonsensical and crappy. lol. its realli a good and well deserved rest after my 9 days of work in 12 days. lol.

this week's confirmation week in my company after the 6 months probation period. After which if we wan to quit have to give advance notice of 3 months. So nowadays e general mood at work is everyone is giving serious considerations about confirmation. haa. =) To my guy frens, thx a lot for the nice supper. haa its been quite a while since we got makan n meet like that, even though its for a while.

Teambuilding treat =)

2007-11-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

hehe, i've decided that since nowadays i not realli meeting up so often with my uni frens, i'll make a concerted effort to blog every week or so, so that everyone can be updated with how i'm getting along. haa =)

okie first start with e photos of my teambuilding treat for my shift ppl at fish n co, novena square. hehe would like to express my thanks to nic, mj n sy who pei me scout for place to makan after soccer sesson. We went as far as center point sia....from nus....

Teambuilding treat at novena fish and co. Actually its i treat, cause i'm e boss. =S=S

Me placing all e orders. =S damn hard work man. Muz cater to everyone's preferences and liking and muz order enough variety. LOL

Hehe a lot of food for 15 ppl, we ate until damn full. LOL. Total Bill = $560

Afterwards, we all went bowling and it was a lot of fun!!! =) The few days b4 i was still apprehensive that i can't find a good place to makan, it was all well resolved. Thks to nic's suggestion. =D Anyway this teambuilding is compulsory for every half a year stipulated by company policy. So company will fork out $15/person to subsidise watever activity u wanna do, e rest is the MEs (Manufacturing Engineers) have to top up.

Actually i do love my job la........ juz that maybe night shift veri hard to cope lor... but as for the job scope i got realli not much complains, everyday can interact with so many ppl (20+ ppl under me) and need to be sometimes friendly with them or strict with them. Its realli a tough challenge. =D

hehe my family dog niuniu =)

2007-11-01T14:12:00.000+08:00

Only got one pic la, got time i take more. LOL. =)

A balanced life

2007-10-24T10:02:00.000+08:00

i can still vaguely rem wat i've learnt in HR class last year. On the topic of the meaning of work. Which revolves around the concept that work is crucial to satisfying the needs human beings - mental needs as well as physical needs. Some journals which i've read still quote that about 80+% of humans will still continue working even though they have enough money not to fret for the rest of their lives. =)

So brings us back to e qn: How important or to wat extent can the meaning of work satisfy our mental and physical needs? It is reasonable to assume then that different individuals require different levels of mental/physical satisfaction from the meaning of work, right? So wats the level of physical/mental satisfaction that you need from the work aspect of your life? wats the level of satisfaction that you need from e non work aspects of your life?

Brings us back to e basic theory that all humans have needs:
Physical Needs: Food, Rest, etc
Mental Needs: Fulfillment, achievement, need to spend time alone with oneself, recognition
Spiritual Needs: Religion, Need to be ethically and morally upright, etc
R/s Needs: Need to form bonds, feelings with other human beings: frens/family/spouse

So where does e meaning of work come into e picture here? It again depends on wat are your needs that you can satisfy by working. E rest of the needs will then have to be fulfilled by the non work aspects of our lives, from play, socializing, and other types of activities.

Hence for each individual there should exist a tailor made recipe for his contentment in life. Which should be also known as the ultimate aim of every being: to achieve a fully balanced life where all his needs/wants can be satisfied as much as possible through the use of scarce resources (time, money, etc) =) so wats ur recipe for contentment?

Irregular sleep hours and sleep patterns

2007-10-09T03:21:00.000+08:00

Ever since converting to night shift about 6 weeks ago, life has kinda transformed for me. I still remed that day my section manager informed me that i might be going night shift, i called ting up and told her that my life will soon be veri different than in morning A shift (Sunday to Tues/Wed). n how right i was.

Ya, i think i'm getting paid veri well. I agree. Of coz i noe quite a few ppl envy my paycheck. Its even perfectly possible to hit 6k if i wan every mth. But there are a lot of intangible things in my life that i've lost working night shift...................... sadly.

1) Weekly sat soccer sessions.......... i've been going w/o fail for lots of weeks while i was in day shift. Nowadays after my night shift even though i'm free on alt sat mornings, i barely haf any physical energy to play soccer liao. So i realli feel left out n sad that i'm missing out all e fun n action.

2) Friday night outings wif class/frens......... its sad that ppl are asking me out on friday nights when i can nvr make it....... not when i'm in D shift.

3) Proper sleep hours and sleep patterns............... i'm officially resting/sleeping at weird hours and for weird durations as well. I sleep when i'm tired and stay awake when i'm not. Haa like yesterday stayed awake for 30 hours then slept for 15 hrs consec. :S super off.

Its interesting in work that u can see the corporate culture/social influence taking place. Everyone wanna do well in work, achieve something reasonable within an expected amount of time. E.g. promoted to management positions in 3/4 yrs? haaa that will prove that they are competent/zai/good/higher recognition/bigger paycheck. Yet i still think its not that enviable, with higher positions come higher responsibilities. N still these so called zai ppl are still working for other ppl, living off a pay check. I prefer to think that the realli good ppl are making ppl work for them and not living off a pay check.

i've become a veri frugal person recently. i'm quite shocked too by my sudden transformation too. Maybe i can realli feel that money is veri hard to earn these days. 血汗钱 u noe? Most important i wanna reach the 10k goal i've set for myself in 6 mths. n that's after paying for e 2k computer loan which tatamounts to 12k in 6mths. Wish me good luck! =)

Simple Life

2007-09-19T07:46:00.000+08:00

=) its a good time to blog after my last entry. which was like 1 mth plus ago. Haa how fast time flies. Already been working for 3.5 mths le, been so so fast. I remed that my IA of 6 mths lasted like ages. haaa comparatively of coz.

my current work isn't realli chem engin related. haaa in fact its realli not. Shrug, during my schooldays i've always felt that i dun realli wanna be doing engineering work related to core chem engin disciplines when i graduate. That aside, now that i'm working and not doing related work, there is a sense of lingering feeling that its a bit 可惜 to be not able to use the knowledge that i've gained in my education. Sometimes i wonder whether i'll be happie doing chem engin related stuff in work. haaa. Life's contradicting.

Hehe beginning to realli treasure those mini/major class gatherings where everyone can juz sit down have a nice dinner together and have a good chat regarding juz about almost everything. N of coz wif my current time table of shift work. i'll miss all of fridays outings and half of saturdays outings. So perhaps to me outings have indeed become more precious.

=) sometimes the joy in living comes from the simple things in life. Like playin games with my good frens, having a good chit chat session wif pj n gang, watching soccer on sat n sun nights, watching movies/dvds at home. haaa n going out to walkwalk around once in a while. Yea, that's e simple life for me.

WorkWorkWork

2007-08-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

haha i realised i haven't realli touched on any details on my job n work yet in this blog. So i shall start. :D

i'm currently working in a semiconductor firm in the woodlands fab park. hahaha company name is secret (better not write in this blog) so if u guys wanna noe, juz drop me a msg over msn. In short, i'm a manufacturing engineer at the wafer fab. Quite different from the process engineer job that almost all of my chem eng frens have taken up.

Basic job scope is to manage about 30 machines, 15 operators, and 7 technicians. That's in order to meet the demanding production output of a wafer fab. So in short, i have to answer for any equipment downtime, operator idle time, line discipline, basic operations, technical support and finally man management.

Well, that's e job scope that i've chosen instead of the process engineer. A job scope which i think i'll excel in more, and most importantly love more. =)

Work is tiring, 12.5 hrs a day is realli xiong. Yet, i still love wat i do cause its nice to be able to interact with so many ppl everyday. Especially the nice ppl in my thinfilm module A shift.

It seems that there is a general stigma or maybe trend that manufacturing engineers dun realli have veri good grades. so maybe some ppl can't realli understand y i took up this job cause it realli seems that i'm overqualified............. shrug.

Quite long haven't seen my best fren pj already. haha been so used to seeing her in school everyday now dun even get to see her once in a month =( To all my working frens: take care of urself, enjoy and cherish life! =)

Commencement Photos!! =)

2007-07-15T12:18:00.000+08:00

keke e proudest moment of my life =) i'll realli like to thank everyone for their support n help along this memorable studying journey in NUS. Well, i already miss school n my close frens already. =( u guys take care! All e best in ur working life!

A lot of ppl say my face damm round haaa.

long awaited post!

2007-06-03T13:01:00.000+08:00

haaaa revamped my blog layout since i had e time n added a tagboard. LOL. haaa

okie now can put a bit of photos up for ppl to see! i didn't even realise e new blogger got e image tab le :S

Picture 1 description:
The crazy 360 degrees rotating ride which ting, yz and pj took. This ride will stop after a 180 degrees displacement = blood rush into head n dangling upside down.
haha n yes i'm veri hum = dun dare to take. LOL

Note: can u see e 3 gals in e picture? haa

Picture 2 description:
Ting and pj getting veri scared when there is an approaching dinosaur behind them.

Picture 3 description:
Free flow drink sign in chinese. LOL. we drank a lot from this machine. Still da bao somemore then leave. haa

grad trip pics to be continued..............................

Sting ray treat!! keke complete wif sugarcane drink!! lol.

meeting deadlines :S

2007-02-28T13:51:00.000+08:00

lol, thousands of deadlines to be met. hahaha yet i find myself still slacking away and doing work in an extremely unproductive rate. LOL think maybe i'm starting to heck schoolwork liaoz. Or perhaps juz finding it extremely hard to motivate myself for things that i didn't realli believe in.

membrane paper is due on e 8th. haaa nvm juz push back lor. 0/15 journals read. haaa. Had such fun at nic's house for e pizza party last week. Keke, my mum says when i'm working n have spare cash i should organise such parties also. haha but how to? i think wif my house size, accomodating ppl is realli a tough issue to resolve. =)

met up wif my rv classmates last week friday, feels quite weird to talk to classmates who haf been working for quite some time now while i'm still a student. There's kinda a "generation gap". Quite interesting to note certain things, i can tell that e "academia" ppl in my class are all going onto the research path which can be quite easily anticipated while the rest are simply get sick of studying n juz enter e workforce. Haha anyway i think wedding bells will soon be ringing for some of my classmates, keke n we were on e topic of discussing rv frens who already haf kids liao. e tot of it is damn scary. LOL

i realli should put some pictures on my blog. Pls remind me haa. =) okie blog soon!

fyp is over!

2007-02-01T17:44:00.000+08:00

keke todae marks e first day after e submission of my fyp thesis. YAY! it feels good to not be burdened by e gulit of not doing fyp all e time.

First of all, i would like to thank everyone who have contributed in one way or another to the completion of my fyp thesis. =) haha, i would like to express sincere appreciation for nic's effort over a lot of hours in doing my fyp formatting, picture editing and cover page designing. i think he did a veri good job for me *applause*. i will treat u to seafood platter for 2 as a reward, promised!

Secondly, i would like to comment on e controvesial issue of in-house gaming of dota. which brings me to the issue of whether dota is a game where ppl play to enjoy wif frens or whether dota is a game where ppl play to own other ppl around. For me, i see it as a way to interact and haf funs wif frens like nic, xz ys n wj. that's y i do not mind playing wif more than 5 ppl n spilting into 2 teams. cause i do not mind getting owned by my frens even though they are on e other team.

N yes i'm veri pissed on a particular night cause i entered bnet after finishing my thesis work at 3am on one day for my onli dota game before i head for bed. cause there were 5 ppl in a game and they went ahead n play even though i told them to wait for me. Yup, and i'm told to go play alone at 3am wif public.................. wth, if u were me also will pissed right? which type of frens will ask u to go play alone man... i mean worse come to worse i go on e opposing team of 5 right? at least can play together. Very pissed.

time to blog hehe

2007-01-04T02:35:00.000+08:00

hehe wah ages b4 i blog liao....................

Latest News:

On the 3rd of January 2007 at 1020pm, there was a chemical gas attack in e4A 07-07 lab. The situation was first reported by a harmless victim miss Toh Peijia. (hehe) On hearing the distress calls, the lab was investigated and found to be intoxicated with a high concentration of an unknown chemical gas. The chemical gas had a strong toxic smell which rapidly affects the respiratory system of the human body and also causes strong irritation to eyes within seconds of exposure.

Action was taken to immediately air the lab through the use of the powerful CATERPILLAR fan (keke) and the toxic lab area was sealed off to prevent unauthorised entry. After 30 mins of purging the room, concentrations of the toxic gas dropped to acceptable levels and the lab was searched for any chemical spillovers and uncontrolled reactions. None was found. Till date, the cause of the attack is unknown and certain sources have placed the blame on the Al-Qaeda organisation for the first chemical attack in Singapore. The matter will be further investigated in the following morning.

Authorities would like to thank the swift action of the emergency response team (xianzhi & zhiwan) for the timely evacuation of the 2 victims of the chemical attack who were exposed to a high dosage of the chemical gas. It is feared that their injuries suffered are life shortening and permanent. =)

a feeling of .....................

2006-11-08T01:37:00.000+08:00

recently been having a lot of 感触. Time seems to fly at an amazing rate esp when i'm so bogged down by fyp exam preparation and project discussions. =) work life seems to be fast approaching :S and though i dun realli like hectic n stressful exam periods i do enjoy myself in school most of e time with e company of my frens. hehe

i remed one day i dreamt abt lindy n miaoling n how happie we were all in school. kinda like suddenly dawned on me that i realli havent been catching up with them for very long, esp when school's abt to end soon liao. i realli think i should start spending time with wonderful frens like them while i can before we all move on to advancing our careers. in my mind i can still vividly rem the crazy times when we went bishi bashi in jurong and how we became the champions of the captain's ball tournament juz a year back :) hehe.

As we all prepare to embark on our working careers and life journeys, i guess i need to cultivate a greater sense of independence within myself so that i can have more strength to face the challenges lying ahead in my life :) i think i should be mentally prepared in case set backs do occur as well as coping with the lonliness that i might have to go through when everyone is busy with their work life. =) juz some spontaneous tots of mine. hehe

some tots

2006-10-23T03:06:00.000+08:00

1) expecting to see failure is a loser's mentality. Winners dun expect to see failure, they see failure as unexpected.

2) motivating an unmotivated person is perhaps the most impossible task possible.

3) sacrificing my time for fyp to do design 1 at the expense of a free-rider isn't realli something i'm veri happie about.

4) Its human tendency for ppl to take each other's niceness for granted. Some ppl nvr initiate anything n see it as 应当 for the other party to always arrange activities and take initiative. These ppl nvr noe that's e most unappreciative response to ppl who constantly side aside time and effort for them.

5) meetings w/o an agenda or any form of organisation are called time-consuming and time wasting gatherings.

6) Once trust is lost, its very hard to find it back again.

7) Happiness is not a destination, it is not something that is distant. It is a state of the mind, something that can be found when one is peaceful with him/herself.

Tots aside, anyone game for movie this coming week? i wanna watch the death notebook movie hahaha xz recommend one. =) veri long nvr relax liao. Those who are free pls come find me hehe :)

mid autumn festival

2006-10-06T21:34:00.000+08:00

after 1 hectic n stressful week where there's lots of project discussion homework + tests to study.....................................

i'm home alone on a mid autumn festival having eaten onli 1/8 of a mooncake till date n feeling bored n lonely cause no one's realli online......... n i have not much time to go out n haf fun........

well done...................................................*pat on e back*

Several things i'm quite irritated wif recently:

1) y muz chem engin's fyp be 1 sem while e rest of the engin courses are 2 sems?
2) y the f*** muz i study mechnical design for my design1 module when i'm not a mechanical engineer
3) y petroleum midterm test muz cover the syllabus taught till the date of the test which is bloodee A LOT OF STUFF.
4) y do i feel so pressured to do well this sem?
5) y do i haf so much work to do that i have to go home every night at 9-10 plus.....

.......................................................................................ya n that's not including the super DAMN a lot of career talks that i have to go to in the search for a job.

Disclaimer

2006-09-18T14:04:00.000+08:00

to xz: hahah disclaimer for the last post of happie things.......

haha all e posts were in fact written in reverse chronological order of the happie things last week. Except the matt's bday one. hahah bo bian muz write abt matt later he say i nvr mention him again. LOL!!!! hahaha so u are still my kfc buddy. hehe.

anyway stay tuned cause photos will come up soon on e next entry heehee! :D = i kopped digicam from my brother successfully. LOL!!!

Veri honoured haha my tagboard veri hiong......... keke thanks guys quote: "u all r so close to my heart" hehehe!!!!

As wat i've told xz hehe if i realli can make the first class mark in the end hehe i promise to give JIU LOU type of treat for my fabulous guy frens hahaha.
As for alice pj veron n ting they will also get a separate big big treat from me. keke! hope i can do it! =)

happiness hehe :P

2006-09-15T11:38:00.000+08:00

lol recently there's a lot of well-wishing going on hahaha there's a lot of ppl who come up to me n say: "hope u find your happiness soon"; "xy u are a nice guy i'm sure u deserve to find a nice gf sooner or later"; "xy u muz go out n get to noe more ppl, then got more chance to find that special gf"

hahahaha honestly i already found my happiness i feel..... happiness is for me a state of calmness in my mind knowing that i'm at ease wif with the things that r happening in my daily life. haha okie i think that sounds chim to u guys.......... hahaha wat i mean is who says single cannot be happie :) i'm sure a lot of ppl will think i'm bullshitting here. hahaha but seriously la i'm happie enough

lol i'm happie going to lessons wif such a good fren like ting hehe eating lunch wif her.

then going to lab wif my best lab partner peijia, although she yesterday open e drawer nvr close, hai me kena e drawer on my knee... DAMN PAIN!

haha n happiness is going to nic's house n got free food (claypot rice + 10 satay sticks) hahaha happiness is a lot of other things as well la.

It is also going to dinner wif mingjie and eating 五香 while listening to his travelling stories in san diego.

Happiness is going to matt's house on his bday n having a mini bday celebration wif my 3 good frens n after tt watching hostel haha LOL!!

and having weijie's company for dinner at boon lay market at 11pm... OUR favourite NASI LEMAK!!!! lol.

n of coz being happie all e time is hardwork.......................... there's bound to be times when frustration n downness comes in. lol n lastly i have happiness because i noe my frens are happie :)

Bo Jio

2006-09-11T03:04:00.000+08:00

Actually for the previous like 1-2 months, there's been a worrying thought on my mind. i guess perhaps its caused by the fact that graduation is juz round the corner together wif the job seeking/searching phase of my life. Ya and that worrying tot is that i have not participated in any ECA ever since i've gotten into NUS. It suddenly struck me that perhaps having no ECA in uni might give potential employees an bad first impression during interviews.

I guess i have to admit that its my mistake that i didn't bother to participate in ECA activities during life bah. After all, i guess its very hard and a bit too late to take part and participate in ANY form of meaningful activities since i'm already in year 4 liao.............. i juz hope the negative effect of this status will not be as bad as i think it will seem. =)

n yes now i'll blog about something which juz happened........... n ya i'm sick and tired of being mr nice guy. i'm veri pissed now n i intend to give the ppl involved a piece of my mind................

(identity will not be disclosed in this very pissed entry)

3 farkers: X, Y and Z went out wif minjie (who juz returned from his trip to US) and BO JIO!..........
Yes, i'm damn pissed because i would have liked veri much to meet up wif minjie since he's been away for so long.
Yes, i'm damn pissed because its blatant double standard. Cause i can rem instances when i'm scolded by ppl when i organise activities cause i bo jio them.......... LET ME PUT THIS FACT STRAIGHT in your faces! i'll onli bo jio ppl when most of the time i ask them they give me negative responses. (i'll surely ask ppl whom i noe will surely be free) i'll onli bo jio ppl when its a trivial meeting like a supper when i'm not sure whether i'll be able to ensure ppl their transport back.
Thx guys! For such an important meeting u 3 can dun jio.................................

Disclaimer: this entry is written in an extremely pissed mood. Haha dun take it too seriously. Next time BETTER JIO HOR! kns.

i need a digicam =)

2006-08-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

Last week, 1 vietnamese left a humpy and painful swelling on my shin...........

This week, 1 super late tackle which from a striker in which he wasn't even close to the ball HIT exactly the same spot on my shin..............blooodee hell.

i wonder y they like my right shin so much............................... =(

hehe anyway i think i need to get a digi cam so that can put nice photos on my blog.. hahah but me being the frugal me, think i'll nvr fork out money to get one cause it won't be cheap. hehe a digi cam will be veri useful to me hehe can take a lot of nice photos then can put in my fyp report. keke sure score point i think =)

maybe i should open my mouth and ask my brother to lend me hehe

need 1x digicam hehe

2006-08-27T23:27:00.000+08:00

Last week, 1 vietnamese left a humpy and painful swelling on my shin...........

This week, 1 super late tackle which from a striker in which he wasn't even close to the ball HIT exactly the same spot on my shin..............blooodee hell.

i wonder y they like my right shin so much............................... =(

hehe anyway i think i need to get a digi cam so that can put nice photos on my blog.. hahah but me being the frugal me, think i'll nvr fork out money to get one cause it won't be cheap. hehe a digi cam will be veri useful to me hehe can take a lot of nice photos then can put in my fyp report. keke sure score point i think =) maybe i should open my mouth and ask my brother to lend me hehe

its a hot n sweaty tuesday

2006-08-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

todae e weather is SI BEI HOT............ i totally regret wearing jeans sia. After one whole day in the humid weather, i'm not officially very very tired........... Reached home at 730pm n then concussed in bed till 930........ ya now i dunno if i can fall asleep later cause lesson tml requires me to wake up at 8am. =S

i noticed something recently.............. it kinda like struck me hard......... haha i realised chem engin gals are starting to wear make-up n fanciful clothes to school ya the year 4 chem engin gals. Its quite interesting actually, certain gals which i haf classified as too muggerish n borish have seemingly become more 爱美 n start to wear nicer stuff to school. hahaha actually its quite a good thing for them, at least they look more presentable now. Yet it seems as though some others r still the same, still e same hairstyle n the same pattern hahah. i guess perhaps they will stay this way for quite a long time ba since they r change-adverse. LOL i'm not saying its good or its bad i'm juz saying that tt's e way they r n that's e way they r probably staying.

Another thing, i realised its veri hard to be a good "consoler" and a listener. Listening with empathy tt's a virtue which everyone calls it............ e thing is when someone tells u his problems n then starts complaining............. Do i A) console tt person by telling things that the person wans to hear which may not actually help him? or do i B) console tt person by saying things that he needs to hear but doesn't wan to hear? its a tough decision.......u noe?
but i guess i'll nvr choose A because i believe in saying things that will genuinely help tt someone because i realli care..................................
It gets frustrating at times i realised..................because my words may not sound like music to their ears. It gets frustrating at times cause i feel that my 好心 is not being appreciated....... However i still believe that its worth it.

p.s. Thx a lot ruinie for the hysys disc u lend me. Its veri you xin considering i nvr asked u for it and u noe i need it. Thx :)

updates updates

2006-07-20T03:20:00.000+08:00

hehe after quite a long period of blogging inactivity, i'm back again. keke haven't been updating for quite long haha at least i'm not as bad as shuping (she realli took ages to update) LOL. hehe i'm getting along n enjoying the freedom of this supposedly last school holidays quite a bit. Last week i went to nic, minjie n tianyuan's commencement at UCC NUS. keke quite interesting la to get into the graduation mood.

Presenting................................LiNUS the NUS lion!!!!

Hehe as u can see i'm not lying abt e name haha its clearly shown on the tag attached to its paw...... omg the mascot's name is really so lame......... hehe. quite interesting right e pic? all thx to xz's camera.

anyway haf some tots after going to their graduation ceremony loh....... i was thinking maybe its also kinda good that my cap is so near 4.5 (4.44 currently) Current calculations show that i need to get 4.7 for both e last 2 sems to make it which is extremely hard but not impossible. =) quite determined to work hard and then make a final dash to the finishing line. hehe even if i can't make it at least i can feel good that i've tried my best. Nodnod

Recently also quite paiseh.. hehe yinnah came n talked to me over msn haha i also haf nothing much of my life to update her also..... i mean besides the internship i did for the past 6 months my holidays been kinda monotonous thus far. Haven't took a trip outta singapore too so there's nothing much to tell or update her wats going on in my life. =) hehe quite a good feeling that she's updating me on wats she's up to recently. Sometimes it feels good that u noe how ur good frens r getting along in other parts of the world i guess.

yup i hope veron's toe is getting better already cause that injury looks veri painful hehe =) take care n i hope u recover fast gal.

Here r my wishes to everyone:
to alice: all e best for ur CFA studies. keke i hope u will score well. =)
to veron: hope ur toe recovers fast haha
to pj: hope we enjoy working together for our design1 project n score well together! =p
to ting: hope u can consolidate ur second upper wif a wonderful sem 7 result gal!
to minjie: hope u can book out often n kena less duties keke
to ys: hope u can find a good job soon!
to xueni: enjoy ur marriage life hehe :)
to yh n matt: hope u guys can do well n graduate wif first class honours next year! =)
to xz, wj, nic n merv: hope u guys can find a lovely gf soon! haha.
to yinnah: all e best hehe hope u settle down happily soon too :)
to sp n yl: Jiayou n work hard next sem ppl! hehe

xueni's wedding hehe =)

2006-06-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

hehe okie paiseh for e lack of updates on my blog........... been enjoying life after IA recently :) i think although its quite slack n lazy but overall e feeling of freedom is very shuang......... like eat lunch liao tired juz go sleep lor.

Went for xueni's wedding on saturday hahah quite an interesting experience. oh xueni is my hwachong jc classmate haha so happie for her that she's finally getting married, settling down haha maybe she'll have kids soon too!

Quite a funnie feeling to go to my classmate's wedding la......... i mean afterall she's my age one keke. Then most of e guests who are frens at the wedding also all so young n youthful haha quite cute la. i mean i'm used to seeing her at class outings then suddenly one day POOF! its at her wedding. hehe

Very fun to see my classmates after so long also la. Good to see that everyone's getting along fine. i'm sure in e veri near future a lot of weddings will come hahaha. so maybe i have to also get used to going to weddings lor. Keke Here's a picture of my class 99s65. i will update very soon again. Hehe

haha my betting statistics

2006-06-21T13:21:00.000+08:00

Due to the World Cup Fever, i've been engaging in "investing n speculative" activites. i shall show a list of my statistics before i analyse them. keke

England - Paraguay: Bet 10 on England Win; Won 3.80
Italy - Ghana: Bet 10 on Ghana +1.5; Lost 10
Korea - Togo: Bet 20 on Korea Win; Win 14
Germany - Poland: Bet 10 on Germany -1.5; Lost 10
Ecuador - Costa Rica: Bet 10 on Ecuador Win: Win 7
Sweden - Paraguay: Bet 20 on Sweden Win: Win 15
Argentina - Serbia: Bet 10 on Argentina -1.5: Win 13
Italy - USA: Bet 10 on Italy -1.5: Lost 10
Brazil - Australia: Bet 15 on Australia +1.5: Lost 15
Switzerland - Togo: Bet 20 on Switzerland Win: Won 8.40
Spain - Tunisia: Bet 20 on Spain win: Won 10
Germany - Ecuador: Bet 10 on Ecuador +1.5: Lost 10
England -Sweden: Bet 10 on Draw: Won 16.20

Statistics:
Total Games = 13
Won = 8
Lost = 5
Bet 7 on WinLoseDraw = Won All
Bet 6 on 1.5 Handicap = Lost 5 out of 6
Net Gain/Loss = +$32.40

Hahaha some interesting patterns = i bet 1x2 is 100% win, i bet on 1.5 handicap keep losing when there's onli 2 choices......... :S i bet on italy sure lose, i bet on the team i support germany i also sure lose. Everytime i bet 20 i sure win... KEKE =)

hope everyone wins money for this world cup!!!!!

i love this quote

2006-06-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

Nice quote: Our words affect how we think and how we feel. What we think affects wat we say and how we feel. How we feel influences wat we say n how we think. Hence its a vicious cycle.
If we are feeling down, it is easier to change wat we say than wat we think and feel. Changing wat we say is a fresh start to break free of this vicious cycle. =)

updates: IA ending

2006-05-30T02:10:00.000+08:00

yo updates: been relatively troubled recently..........................and its entirely due to work reasons.. perhaps IA wasn't as relaxing n free of stress after all................... =) but i still remain positive i guess though veri hard...................

in a way its giving me a lot of stress n pressure on my part to become as competitive as the other interns....... oh and the competitiveness i'm referring to here is not realli positive competitiveness and rather its negative competitiveness. Which is defined by me as actions such as building up a r/s with e engineers juz for e sake that they'll give good reviews of u n consider u for further employment. or maybe purposely impressing e boss with ur wonderful knowledge or by 拍马屁. Actually i realise that there's realli a fine thin line between wats defined as positive competitiveness n negative competitiveness....... i guess that line should be the actual intention behind all those actions mention earlier. Whether it was realli a discussion to brainstorm rather than trying to impress e boss if u fellas can get wat i mean.

i simply cannot bring myself to compete on such a basis with the others............. which i too ponder whether it will prove to be the ultimate pitfall in my career n promotion prospects next time................... But somehow i guess i still do believe strongly in my values and feel that such hypocrisy cannot be condoned..... yet sometimes it kinda reminds me of the quote: 大丈夫必须能屈能伸. perhaps such cutthroat politics are inevitable or maybe even essential in our careers next time.......

i dunno, maybe if i stick to wat i believe in i might lose out a lot to those more adaptable colleagues in the future, maybe circumstances in the future might force me to become like them tooo. I'm realli not sure.............i juz hope i do not lose my values and identity in the future and that by being true to myself and being who i am, ppl can recognise the worth n value within me. =)

the habit of being happie hehe!

2006-05-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

hehe happie :) ok la recently been cultivating e habit of being happie n positive. hahah as it suggests habit means most of e time i have to feel happie n be realli happie! hahah which is realli hard work sometimes...................... i realise e majority of ppl tend to succumb to negative tots easily including me too............. BUT NOT ANYMORE! hehe! i think this is veri important hehe to be happie n spread e happiness to e ppl around me. think positive n more positive hehe n then one day maybe my dreams will come true! hehe! =)

Intern's guide to 10 important survival skills in office

2006-05-18T19:08:00.000+08:00

1) Screen Filter needed (to use the reflection to watch out for supervisor coming from ur back)
2) Be familiar with keyboard shortcuts (can switch between windows quickly when supervisor comes)
3) Colourful desktop paper (makes ur games or chat list/window more concealed & less obvious at once glance)
4) Big thick book of excel programming on ur table (to act busy when there's a need to)
5) Open and keep lots of windows open (so that the chatting window is hard to differentiate)
6) Calender to count the days and keep track of time (checking for no. of days left, public holidays, leave days = important for keeping morale high)
7) Earphones to listen to 933fm and also mp3 from the comp, use thumbdrive to bring in ur own songs n store them in ur harddisk (reduce boredom)
8) Bring some toys (to play with them torture them when u r sian or bored)
9) Go out once a week for a 2hr lunch break to gaigai n walkwalk around n relax
10) Get ur seniors IA reports, copy them so that u minimize time over the weekend doing IA reports. Best is to do IA report during working hrs so that time at home can be dedicated for leisure.

Hehe, IA students how many of these survival skills do u haf? Haha i have everything except 4. =D but lots of refinery notes. hehe.

on mc =S

2006-05-15T14:22:00.000+08:00

yoyo to all my blog supporters..................................... if all of u all haven't ran away yet. hehe on mc todae cause down wif fever =S n then kena a super bad headache sia so feeling quite horrible yesterday.............. now is better though feeling very weak.

okie la, actually not much work to do at my IA liao so to be honest take mc also nvr mind one, probably won't have any piled up work or stuff like tt. =) kinda sian in a way cause i felt that i realli make a conscious effort to keep healthy by eating proper food n sleeping early ----------------------------> end up still fall sick again. =S=S

oh actually got quite a few things to talk abt............. yesterday i was at the west mall clinic waiting in the super long queue to see e doctor. then there came in this family ok 3 of them: father mother and i think a 3-4 year old kid.......Then there was onli 1 seat empty.......... then e father himself go sit down n leave e mum n e kid standing................... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz e best part is he didnt look like e one who was going to see e doctor cause he look so healthy. wth man........ these are the type of situations that i probably can't stand sia...... ok nvm.

yupz, i think for e past ten days i realli didn't kinda go out............... haha dunno y also think its juz becoming a habit......... usually will juz hang around BB n JE i guess for some meals n then back home. hahaha in my opinion SUPER unhappening life hahaha. erm wat to do? nvm la at least can save a lot of money in e process. Hehe. =p to all those dear frens who miss me a lot as much as i think u do, pls ask me out for dinner k? hahaha take care guys will blog soon again.

to sp: dun be hui xin k? ill always give u support hehe hope u can succeed! =p

yoyo

2006-04-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

=) haha had a veri happie dinner wif pj, byon, veron and ting. Ate sakae sushi, 3rd week in a row haha starting to like the food there liao. haha but pricewise still a bit ex :P desperately trying to save up on my money now haha but i realise that self control and self restraint can be quite tough at certain times. Especially when u feel that its worthwhile to pamper urself after a hard days of work n sometimes that can be an excuse for us to spend indiscriminately. Esp when u think of an excuse called progress package.

work is quite boring n monotonous at times but realli thx to cx i get an abundance of laughter n lame jokes everynow n then. haha like todae we were juz talking abt how the reporters and artist in the courtroom like to take and publish the pictures which shows ppl being veri down n distraught. haha then we moved on to e topic abt politics haha cause i think (someone) was fined for overspeeding or drink driving then imagine if its e transport minister who gets caught haha or the health minister digging his nose in public lol. Those imaginery situations realli veri funnie sia. lol

ok la time realli flies with jokes like these haha sometimes the intern area realli laugh like a bunch of siao kias. Miss school a lot........ miss chatting n eating wif my frens in school haha. although the food is not realli worth looking forward to. Funnie how humans seem to feel veri troubled when all sort of problems arise then when there are no worries, they'll go and look for some to keep themself occupied again. =p haha issn't it right? haha work has realli taught me a thing or 2 abt human character n nature. Sometimes i guess ppl are juz realli different from one another....... in terms of communication, background, interest, differing priorities, differing sensitivities. Regardless of these differences, i think i'll still work hard to try to understand them better. =D

Thx alice n veron, u 2 gals haf been extremely sweet. =)

feeling much better already

2006-04-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

haha thx to xz yl n yh for ur best wishes haha. =) i'm fine already liao, kinda sorted out my tots by myself. hahaha become much stronger liao n much more confident........... kinda nice to feel this way.. Thx guys ^^ :) u fellas take good care of urself k? haha cya soon!

disappointment

2006-04-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

todae is quite a depressing day for me........................................ recently found that its realli quite easy for me to feel down easily...... Maybe its because all the bad things are actually piling up at one go....... Wat to do? i guess juz bite e bullet loh............................

i realise that i've been wrong................i've been too naive......... i guess i can't expect ppl to show concern n cherish me for who i am.........no matter how hard i try, i can't make them appreciate me more or become geniunely interested in me........... i've failed.......... maybe its time to move on n find new ppl in my life..............ppl who realli loves me for who i am n won't take e things i do for them as granted..........

Sometimes i feel veri frustrated when i think how unfair this world is ........................ y do the undeserved ppl always get more.......... y do ppl give preferential treatment to certain ppl.................... ya i noe i shouldn't compare ya i noe i shouldn't whine ya i noe i shouldn't be too kan bu kai, i noe i can't expect to haf everything i wan......................... But issit realli too much to ask for e small little things i feel i deserve?!?

todae morning was super saddening when i realise that i realli do miss angela's (my best fren at exxon) company a lot.................. cause she realli makes me feel good everyday, she appreciates all e things i do for her n most importantly she makes me feel that i deserve everything wonderful in this world. This type of fren is extremely hard to come by........

its very disappointing to noe that when i'm sick, the ppl close to me r not e ones showing me concern..............., i have to eat alone cause non of my frens are free to meet up wif me for even once a week for many weeks, when u write a book for someone its dunno left in the mess of the room, when u tell someone u need something badly its all forgotten cleanly, worklife is sometimes veri unhappie n now angela's gone, and ppl taking u for granted.

maybe e problem lies wif me...................................

Thx!!!

2006-03-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

hehe this post will be a post of thx!!!

Firstly, THX A LOT to xz (my KFC/winning eleven/tabletennis/soccer best buddy for e wonderful n lovely santa claus postcard. haha get ready for mine! hehe e postcard is so sweet.
Secondly, many many thanks to jiahao who have been super thoughful nowadays. Like calling me up to chat wif me, sending me have a nice working day smses and waiting 4 hrs in school juz to have dinner wif me.
Thirdly, thx a lot to e ever sweet shuping. U r such wonderful company hehe :) thx for being so nice when i'm sick
Fourthly, super thanks to yuanli for being there for me all e time, when i'm well or sick....... i'll be there for u too! :)

u ppl r fantastic............. sometimes that little bit of sincere concern can realli brighten up my day. Thx for showing me e support i need :) *hugs all*

=) the value of ourselves.............

2006-03-14T22:08:00.000+08:00

its been quite long since i've blogged. =) to everyone who was concerned abt me........ i'm fine thank you.

i'm soon to be 24 liao.............. i'm worried................. maybe its because i'll soon reach this new phase in my life. i'm worried cause i realise that i'm not as positive abt life as i was when i juz completed national service............i believed i've changed a lot in other ways too............ i have ended up more closed-up, and very unwilling to share my feelings wif others anymore.... Some of these changes are good, some of them aren't................. and they occur as a result of a combination of circumstances and my then too innocent perspective of life and reality.

Last year this time i was in severe depression............ maybe to many of u it may sound like juz a period of time when i was easily affected by events and simply perhaps taking things too hard for my own good. Maybe i've seemed alright to everyone around me..........................i realli wasnt. It was really the trough of my life.............. for once perhaps i found that i'm realli unable to help myself nor control my feelings..........It was a helpless feeling......... for once i've totally lost my confident self. At that point of time, i realised that i realli wasn't strong enough to work hard n strive for my dreams......

Then i almost totally lost my sense of selfworth............. ya i noe.......... i chose this painful path myself......i've nvr regretted it.... i was in love wif a wonderful gal =)........ and through this i've learned the most painful lesson of my life: in this short span of life, there's only a handful of ppl who can realli see the special u and truly appreciate u as who u are. N these are the very ppl who will cherish ur existence, love to be wif u...... and 疼 u. So cherish these ppl, shower them wif love! =) the rest u can juz ask them to f*** off............... as in juz move on wif our lives and leave them behind us....

The value of ourselves ........................................ is given and defined by ourselves! =)

exxon field trip =)

2006-02-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

hehe some photos for u ppl to see. hahaha veri rare hor to see photos on my blog site. hehe oh monday i went for a field trip with e engineers of my department. Haaz, this was a trip to the VLCC berth on Jurong island. haha, VLCC stands for VERY LARGE CRUDE CARRIER. hehe after i saw e ship first hand, i was like its VERY LARGE sia. Its called the *eagle* a ship from india i think belonging to an american company which belongs to exxon. hahaha in short, super rich. The capacity of this VLCC is 2 million barrels of crude. T_T

There's a elevator in the ship loh. T_T think got 8 stories or something like tt. Its e super lokcock type of life.. haha the type muz open n close e door urself one. then e captain veri nice, treated us to coke n 7 up can drinks. haha from india one, e words damn obvious. The weather is bloodeee hot tt day, realli can faint haha. Enjoy k? haha its my 3rd field trip in exxon in 3 months, so miserable. =D

2006-02-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

From the very top of the ship, we can see the second VLCC berth on our left. Hehe

2006-02-28T22:23:00.000+08:00

A group photo with the engineers on board the "Eagle"'s "control room" think tt's wat its called. erm e place where they steer the boat.

2006-02-28T22:21:00.001+08:00

The main deck from the 7th floor on board the VLCC "Eagle" Think we are about 4-5 stories above the deck. haha take a look on the loading arms on the left transporting the crude out of the ship. If u see closely, u can see 2 ppl there n they are dressed in orange overalls. Haha from this ratio u can guess how big this bloody carrier is.

2006-02-28T22:21:00.000+08:00

Hehe in e back u can see the skyline of the entire jurong island hhaha. This part of the island is at the most southern end i think. They are still carrying out reclamation of land there. This VLCC can only dock at this part of jurong island as the depth of the seabed here can accomodate the hull of this vessel. Heard this ship is 13m deep :S

2006-02-28T22:20:00.000+08:00

Hehe a group photo of all the interns n engineers haha on the top most lvl of the ship. Notice how high we are compared to the land behind us. Think got at least 10 stories? :O

haha

2006-02-26T18:37:00.000+08:00

e last few days have truely been very wonderful sia. =D hehe i'm realli feeling very happie nowadays haha dunno y also. Hee todae is sunday sia, been stoneing at home e whole day. Where are all my guy frens? :S like totally lost like tt......... where's mj ty ys matt n weijie? i shan't even mention nic, i would say he's too busy to afford anytime for his frens.......... wat happen to all e friday nite suppers??? Xz, yh and merv, can u 3 come back soon? at least i'm sure i'll start to enjoy my friday nites more! =)

hehe anyway i realli had a veri great saturday yesterday...... dunno y maybe it makes my weekend veri worthwhile to e extent i think i'll go back to work happily on monday sia. haha was a wonderful project meeting........heez then was a memorable dinner haha n a long bus ride to school to meet up wif jw, yz, alice and bq. Hee. Hearts was very fun! haha. =D

haha i'm contented wif happie days like this around me...................... Hehe feeling great! to yl: jiayou ok? i'll be behind u supporting u wif brillant ideas haha. to yinnah: thx for the extremely sweet msg u left for me on friendster during v-day. hahah dun worry, i had a veri fantastic v-day hahah so u take care too! hehe ting we realli seem to attract a lot of happening things whenever we are together. LOL cheers to mr drunk n vomit hahaha. =D

yl's blog

2006-02-19T02:12:00.000+08:00

hehe, i liked e quote on yl's blog a lot........... haha i shall kop then cut n paste here.

A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each other's hopes and dreams. A relationship should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope." -- Daisaku Ikeda

hehe looks like when a guy is in love, he's basically glowing wif happiness and love. haha =) feeling so happie for him........................... ^^ hope everyone in this world can find e love that they deserve! jiayou everyone! =p haha guess i can't put things like i'm very very very happie on my msn nicks cause some ppl will come up to me n ask me whether i'm attached.. Lol haha okok i juz feel very very happie for e ppl around me. That really makes me contented n gives me a sense of satisfaction. hehe anyway thx a lot ting for putting that super nice blog song for me haha i realli listen to it a lot. i'm not ur most avid blog supporter for nothing :P

hehe happie

2006-01-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

lol, as u ppl noe hahah i haf a new phone! given to me by my brother :D hahah quite nice one. i think i damn zhuan dao! lol haha its time also e old phone looks so useless haha should change b4 e coming new year. but then not veri 习惯 this new phone haha especially miss e hello kitty pic in my old phone a lot when i've been looking at it for more than 1 year already. =(

haha, i guess as we grow up we do change - some parts of us change, other parts of us remain e same. Yes, i believed over e years i've changed, hopefully for e better. Becoming more independent, tolerant of lonliness, less open abt my feelings may be both good and bad i guess, guess time will tell.........................................

But some things nvr change, some innate feelings dun, this is i guess e first step forward............ Keeping the good things n discarding e bad ones away......................

i'm always here, no matter wat it takes i'll be here for u whenever u need me. =)

haven't got pay yet. sucks

2006-01-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

lol as u can read from e title, i.have.no.pay. No tt's not e frustrating part, e frustrating part is that my frens in e same department have gotten their pay last friday. ALL 3 of them, EXCEPT me. Si bei sian. damn cock up e admin. if i dun get paid by next week, i'll probably get 2 pay at once which sucks cause i wan to have money to spend in e new year. if no pay = i have to pay for my february expenses myself n tt's e 3rd month. :S

i badly wan to go to chinatown. :) to feel the cny atmosphere.............................dunno y juz have this urge to go. anyone free to pei me? haha sp u wan? lol hehe anyone who's free i dun mind. juz dun go alone can liao.............................

hehe take care yh, take care in denmark. Have fun there ya? catch up on msn. =)

working life is seriously veri boring n monotonous. i better start to seriously contemplate wat i wan to do in life. =) to e rest, ENJOY studying while u can!

happiness

2006-01-16T00:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes life is funny isn't it? Sometimes it juz brings us back to e same point we were at some time ago. By then, circumstances haf already changed............ complicated things lost their complicaticity(xy's language) n perhaps i'm in a better frame of mind to think clearly.
Perhaps the only way to be realli happie is to feel and think happie all the time. But that is realli no easy task. Recently i made it a point to rem the most happie moments in my life whenever i start to feel down, and it worked! U guys can try this strat haha.

ok e happiest ever moments of my life (no order of rank)

- eating kfc wif xz at clementi juz b4 his cs1101c practical exam
- going newton to eat sting ray wif ting
- running 830 for my army SOC (passing timing is 1030), haha end up first in my group and had no history of passing tt test b4.
- going back every CNY to visit my grandma n my cousins.
- all those epic AT wins wif ys, especially those when we got towered, lost one whole army or above 1 hour games
- all those happie soccer memories at west mall street soccer court, nice goals, great assists
- hehe n many many more!

i shall be happie always! wish everyone happiness this coming new year. =)

sick sick

2006-01-07T02:16:00.000+08:00

oh after a few days of hectic activities, for e first time in quite a long time, i fell sick quickly and now still recovering from it. maybe its a sign that i should take good care of my health. i guess i should start to take good care of myself from now on. Eat a more proper diet and rest more and early at nite.

Juz last weekend we were ushering e New Year, haha now i'm sick within e first few days. Read Shuping's blog abt her New Year resolutions so maybe i'll talk abt mine too bah. Firstly, i have to say i realli miss xz's company a lot. Nowadays i seldom go to clementi (used to be often cause i meet up wif him). W/o him around, sometimes a bit more lonely during e day la cause we meet up quite often alone also. Hehe, hope he's doing well in Finland.

Ok la, actually not much of resolutions also la......... now tt i think of it, i realise i haf no concrete New Year resolution. Juz hope i can enjoy my IA ba for 6 months, should not be too difficult cause there's so many nice ppl over there. Jiating's been realli sweet, doing all my work while i'm on mc thxthx. i guess there's plenty to learn in this brand new year. Realli enjoyed having dinner wif ruijuan n shuping. Shall meet up and keep in touch wif u ppl. =) All e best to everyone in e New Year.

i realise that i've been a very stupid person in e past.................................................. think i haf put too much trust in ppl i shouldn't haf trusted. Maybe its myself i shouldn't trust.

加油

2005-12-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

jiayou xingyou! thx ruijuan for ur words of encouragement :)

Christmas Eve

2005-12-26T01:18:00.000+08:00

hehe, had e most fantastic christmas eve ever! =)

IA post

2005-12-20T21:15:00.000+08:00

hehe its been a lot of days since i started IA, coming to 10 soon liao. hahaha i shall blog abt it so that everyone noes wats going on at exxon haha.

ok la, contrary to belief, not a lot of techincal work/operations to be done la, juz mostly admin job loh hahaha excel knowledge is so important loh. Mostly interns my side, the jurong refinery juz help the engineers to find, sort and analyse data and figure.

Hehe firstly, i'll talk abt my job location. hehe its 18 pioneer road ---------------> means tuas. hahaha its e main exxon building and refinery bah, bigger than the one in jurong island. I'm working wif Liu Ping and Jia Ting, hahaha both very funnie ppl to be wif. Everyday is very fun wif them around haha a lot of funnie things happen *wink* hehe my work area is shared by 2 supervisors means 6 interns actually but e other supervisor only haf 2 interns here and 1 more in jurong island there so means 5 left loh. then got 1 poly gal veri nice one for my side so we got 6 total cramped into a corner filled wif 4 comps hahaha. so got to share e comp loh. then e comp BLOODEE slow one. u cannot click here n there n if impatient click more........... Will hang one then siao got to restart damn long. hahaha exxon so rich cannot afford more n better comps loh.

Lunch is veri good hahaha one canteen cooks all. got muslim vegetarian western, 煮炒 and 菜饭 lol damn cheap somemore subsidied 2 bucks average haha. Free ice water machine at e canteen. LOL fruits 30 cents neh e water MELON IS damn BIG for 30 cents. haha then their 菜饭 servings DAMN big. i cannot finish loh i think merv n weijie share also cannot finish one plate haha.

ok loh everyday go n do admin work haha boring but bearable. Exxon got a lot of benefits la i think they got budget for tidbits one. haha shared within e department. LOL i saw 2 full drawers of tidbits n u can take it officially one. lol got mamee n yam yam somemore. hahah
i'm quite contented la. Pay is good, 7 days of leave total, free tidbits, free sweets, free transport to jurong east everyday, food inside is cheap, lots of frens to keep me company, if IA finish still got company allowance to go eat good food haha, 5 days week, friday go off at 445 haha. near my house somemore. LOL happie :)

thx sp =)

2005-12-18T03:36:00.000+08:00

hehe sp, juz read e entry u wrote abt going out wif me on friday............. thx thx. =) i juz wanted u to noe that i realli enjoyed ur company a lot. Even though it looked like i was comforting u n supporting u after u failed ur driving, i think u have given me much more in return. Thx for lifting my mood up cause i was quite down these few days. Thx for appreciating me.

hehehe

2005-12-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

HAPPIE!!! ting got her IA liao! =) ...... contented. hehe

2005-12-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

*prays hard* i hope ting gets her IA this time round........

sorry, i'm so sorry

2005-12-10T05:28:00.000+08:00

this has been a horrible year for me................................ i can't wait for it to be over..........
i'm wrong again, maybe i shouldn't have trusted myself again. it muz haf hurt badly to u. i'm sorry, xingyou. i'm so so sorry. maybe u should nvr trust me again.

hot dog outlet =)

2005-12-02T04:16:00.000+08:00

ok back to e hot dog outlet man........ haha quite a lot of thoughts abt it! juz tt nvr realli thought in depth b4. =) i think its realli a damn good business idea from e money making point of view. they sell hotdogs for $1.20. realli juz e bread + one sausage. i mean of course e sausage's nice la - fat n juicy haha. but i mean e cost prize is so low. + tons of shoppers heading out from ikea's payment counters. n of course there's mutualism too. the shoppers are satisfied after getting a bit of food to fill their empty stomachs. n there is plenty of money to be made.

wat i like abt this was actually e simplicity of this profit earning venture. its shows that we dun realli need to work our lives entirely for making money through fixed salaries. i mean if only we have a good business idea and we can make it work, then we might end up richer n happier from e investment of our own effort. of coz, power has a lot of part to play in this journey too i guess. haha mno knowledge, e power to influence, implement(get things done) in short e power to make it successful.

actually was flirting wif several good business ideas. Was thinking of starting a translation company....... idea is actually quite simple, kinda like a middleman job. which is to supply translation services to companies who need these forms of expertise. i mean in e increasing global society, there is an increasing need to communicate across different languages. i think the market needs a form of organising or pooling together ppl in this area such as ppl who can speak all sorts of languages.......... n of coz e rewards r high. =) depends bah, i think this idea needs quite high fixed cost to find such expertise. i'll probably start wif something small first then move up :) haha hope to find better ideas man. =)

post exam post

2005-11-30T04:27:00.000+08:00

lol. congrats to everyone for finally finishing their exams man......... =) hehe now almost all e good news are complete. other than patiently waiting for ting's IA confirmation, e rest of e stuff r perfect! haha how i wish i have activities of everyday planned out like ting, something to do everyday. *envious* hehe but nvm la stay at home also a good thing can save money.

Firstly thanks to nic for driving me down to ting's house to pass her e present. Hehe THX! =) haha xz juz went to eat buffet lunch wif someone LOH. bo jio leh. who wans to eat buffet lunch wif me? i veri long nvr go eat buffet liao, i'm sure it will be very enjoyable lunch bah. hahaha.

Looking forward to IA semester man, plenty of stuff to learn. n money to make man. finally can get all those things i realli wanted! However work life sounds dreadful leh, haha but next sem a lot of ppl will be going for SEP le, so i'm veri glad at least i got an IA placement otherwise muggin again sounds dreadful.

feel like doing things that are new man. like going for a concert or some drama performance. better than sitting at home n rot man. At e moment, life feels great! haha hmmm should i go JB on friday with my class? a bit lethargic leh. See how long even though i still have ringgit to spend hehe.

One irritating incident happened: i was at ikea trying to shop for a box for ting's present loh. u noe ikea got this hot dog outlet? outside e counters there. then they have a veri cool design of dispensing e sauces -- which is to squeeze e bottle hanged upside down. aiyah story veri simple la, i bought my hot dog then SOME idiot walk past tt thing n squeeze a WHOLE lot of mustard sauce juz for e fun of it when she bought nothing n made a mess. her hands damn itchy leh........ talking abt waste minimization man. dunno wats her problem. so irritating. =S

生日快乐

2005-11-28T03:33:00.000+08:00

happie 21st birthday to ting!! happie bday to e most wonderful gal ever. =) hope all ur wishes come true gal..... u r e best!

Exams post :)

2005-11-17T04:17:00.000+08:00

how fast time flies man, its back to e exam time liao................ i hate exams, i'll become veri weak n feel veri unwell during this period. i think it muz be i put myself through too much stress bah. Firstly i would realli like to wish everyone good luck wif their exams, special mention to yuanli who should really take care of his health man. hehe =) i'm so glad that next sem i won't take 5 modules again. All these consec exams is realli burning me dry loh. No much motivation left liao. hehe recently i realli enjoyed a lot of wonderful company from ys, xz n merv in school man. its nice to study wif ppl like them who can last through e nite then go for a late supper or wat. veri nice memories. thx guys, i think its during this time when i realli appreciate true frens like u ppl. =) hehe supper juz now was fantastic man. realli liked e spring chicken i shared wif xz haha. actually e onli thing i'm looking forward to this holidays is finding a feeling of contentment in myself. hehe i deserved to be happie! Right now i juz haf a simple wish bah, hope ting can successfully get her internship wif chartered bah! jiayou ting, i noe u can do it gal. =D

november is a birthday month =)

2005-11-05T02:13:00.000+08:00

i love november..... its my favourite month of the year...... but not because its e month which has my birthday in it. i like november cause its special i guess. =) juz a feeling thingy. so many of my frens share bdays in it..... ys's one is first cause its on e 4th hehe plenty more to come :)

my birthday is coming soon........... =) i'm always happie when its coming, and then when it comes i guess i dun really enjoy it already. that's generally some of my thoughts for the past few years.....

i've already made my bday wish =) thought abt it long ago le and felt that its really something i wan a lot. hmmm, actually on my bday i dun really like to receive presents or gifts........ i love it when ppl write stuff for me, the longer the better, the more sincere it really gets........ cause i feel that by penning down ur thoughts for someone u care is realli a veri touching gesture. That's y i always express myself through writing for ppl that are important in my life. cause i always spend a lot of effort to think through n write down my thoughts.

k i haf to end this entry, i'm getting a bit drowsy n need to rest. haven't been in good health recently. =)

disappointed

2005-10-31T03:48:00.000+08:00

These few days haven't been good. was actually quite disappointed wif myself......... shrug, i dunno why but i juz shrug e disappointment off me. seems to be shadowing me. =(

things always seem to turn out the way u dun wan it to turn out. sigh............................................ i wish i could have been more confident abt myself then instead of slightly panicking on e spot. felt so dwarf then............ dunno suddenly flooded by a lot of thoughts in my mind. maybe i wasn't really so confident abt myself. i mean within me bah tt's y during times of stress maybe tt's y it doesn't come through. seems to be a crash down on my confidences lvls........................... thought i will come out strong again, i juz think this incident made me feel a lot abt my inadequacies.

its such a small incident and i can't shake it off my mind........... seems to come back persistently. maybe i'm juz perturbed by the fact that i can actually fumble like tt........ makes me wonder how i'm going to fulfill my dreams n ambitions noeing that failure along the way is inevitable. The me now simply is not good enough in terms of attitude i guess. Muz buck up. Nod. its always nicer when ting is around me, i seem to draw more strength from her i guess cause i noe i can't let myself down like tt. e rest is realli realli up to myself i guess.

Watever the outcome, i'm still disappointed at the way i've coped wif it.

worrying

2005-10-25T04:23:00.000+08:00

Hehe, its 406 am now n i can't go to sleep. Lesson is at 9 am tml in business haha think its because i've been sleeping at 6am for e past few days. Was lying around in bed n stuff. Had some thoughts in my mind so blog loh :)

Actually these few days i was wondering a few things...........i think our lives in general have some stressful periods n some non-stressful ones as well. For some periods, we lead a carefree life cause there is nothing for us to worry. Other times, i guess no matter how hard we try, there is always something for us to worry. I guess its how we cope wif this form of worrying bah.

Juz take for example the studying semester, as it approaches the end stress seems to kinda build up. hmmm, i think it kinda builds up as accumulative worrying bah. I bet its inevitable in everyone ya? Like worrying whether revision will be finished, worrying abt a very difficult chapter or module which we still haven't grasp. worrying if we have slacked too much, worrying if we will pass our interviews, worrying about money, worrying about a whole of things. Tt's exam period for me.

I guess its how we cope wif it bah, its better to not brood over such things right? so 加油 everyone ya? should focus more on actions to pia rather than worrying excessively. =D hahah feels better blogging those thoughts out. i guess in life we juz do our best right? n hope things turn out well. =) i think i muz learn to be more 看得开 in e form of studies. ys is a good example =) sometimes i realli envy him for his carefree attitude.

Heheh take care everyone =) hahahah blog veri soon again! =)

sorry for the extended blogging break

2005-10-08T02:17:00.000+08:00

lol Dear frens, thx for repeatedly coming to my blog to check for new entries only to be let down time n time again in recent weeks. =) hahah was 50% busy and 50% lazy to blog since there's not much happening stuff going on in my life.
Firstly, to ppl who dun get to see me often but read my blog often to catch up wif me, (e.g. jiahao) i'm doing veri fine in school n in everything in general. Its been nice to work in project groups consisting of nice ppl this sem...... haha makes the hard work part much more enjoyable i would say.
Realise that compared to a lot of ppl around me, i realli dun seem to have much commitments in my life to burden me down. In short i lead a carefree life. haha 5 modules, (one lab nonexaminable, one engin prof, and one mno, all relaxing modules) no tuition, no cca, no gf means that i have a lot of time left for myself. =) perhaps tt's y i can afford to sleep in lecture n skip them w/o too much consideration as i will eventually haf time to catch up on my work.
Been very thrifty recently, seriously have my first savings in the month of september after like 3 years? ya wan to save up for a lot of stuff. so cut down on expensive food, necessary drinks and stuff.
Feeling happie n contented to some extent, i mean though life is monotonous i still find it meaningful to do stuff for my frens around me and spend more time with them when they need it. =D looking forward to meeting up with u guys: jiahao, xueni especially. take care everyone, i love u guys lotsz.

Byebye

2005-09-19T17:37:00.000+08:00

Have u ever came across ppl in ur life who r so-called your frens but they nvr seem to be interested in finding more about u as a person/or concerned abt u?

These ppl will nvr arrange to meet up wif u in person n think its your responsibility to ask them out.
These ppl will only msg u to talk when they r feeling troubled n wan to share their troubles wif u. Its always themselves, themselves and themselves. Makes u wonder at times whether they r more interested in u as a listening ear or interested in you as a good fren.
They nvr bother to find out more abt wat u do in your life or wat who u r as a person.
They feel that they trust u as their good fren as tt's good enough, trust u to tell u their stuff. Who needs their trust when they nvr show u any interest or concern? Are we suppose to be honoured that they trust us?
They'll only come to u when they need help n are never around when u need help.
These ppl are too blinded to see their own self-centered behaviour n realise how irritating it is.

Conclusion: There is no point hanging around or making friends wif this type of ppl, cause they only noe how to take you for granted....... i'm sorry, for i like myself too much to tolerate being treated like tt. Byebye.

thx a lot xz =)

2005-09-03T03:32:00.000+08:00

everything's finally ok..... have been veri tiring for e past 3 days.............

veri worried n unhappie these few days.................... cause mum is not realli feeling veeri well.... in fact i would use e word feeling quite bad will be more appropriate...... Tuesday nite i pei her go to this doctor near my house.......... in e end juz gave more medication. of coz eat liao didn't get better, in fact got a bit worse. ok these few weeks my mum was diagnosed wif high blood pressure... so she's prescribed some medicine which is suppose to keep blood pressure low......... but since she started taking tt medicine, she begin to be cmi liao....... in fact she feels veri weak, so she needs to lie down then got headache, dizziness. so in e end e clinic doctor juz gave me painkillers for her headache n some anti drowisness pills............ WHICH obviously is not solving e root of e problem....... more medicine = more weak = more sick so last nite became quite serious then we decided to go hospital in e middle of e nite......

can't say e amount of gratitude when xz drove me n my mum to SGH at such a late hour. n tt he pei me for abt 2.5 hrs waiting there. if he wasn't there i'll die of fatigue n boredom waiting for 5 hours. reach there liao turn out that my mum was obviously not well so we got a wheel chair for her ............ then transferred to this bed n moved into e A n E room for e doctor to see......... obviously quite serious la, looking at her face she looks damn sick.. so was quite worried loh.......... then took a lot of time to take x-ray urine test blood test n watever la. so i waited damn looooooooooooooooooong until can die. then in e end at 5 e doctor decided to keep her in e wonderful SGH for observation......... diagnosis was quite simple.......... turns out that these few weeks since she got diagnosed wif high blood pressure, my mum decided to lessen her intake of salt by a considerable amount then on top of this, those prescribed high blood pressure pills depleted e salt content somemore, aggravating e problem.. ------------------> serious deficiency in salt content.

ok there n then, now she's getting better le.

sigh............................. last nite as i took a short stroll back thought of quite a few things la........... in e end feel quite sad in a way. here i am, soon to be 23 years old, still cannot provide luxury n comfort for my mum.............. she needs to provide for me tt's y she has to work n her work is tiring...... =S sigh she so old liao, i dun even haf a car to drive her to hospital when she's not feeling well. i wonder when i can even afford to get a car to drive her around instead of making her take public transport all e time............ then in e end when she stay in hospital still have to choose C class ward so tt can save money........... i feel useless. suddenly i felt wat i've always felt in my childhood, that i badly wan to grow up fast n provide good things n comfort for my mum. cause she has realli realli endured enough hardships for her life. considering now tt she's 59 n she went to work at e age of 16, she's worked for abt 43 years consec........

maybe at this point of time i haf to juz pray, pray that she still has enough time to wait for me to 孝顺 her back in return............enough time for her to see me graduate, get married, bao my kids and sit in my car........ if not i'll realli regret for e rest of my life.

thx to everyone who showed me concern n support. especially ting. =)

back to happie ways =)

2005-08-31T01:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes when i'm left to ponder alone, i feel that this world was made to be veri beautiful for all of us................. cause regardless of our achievements, our shortcomings............there exists a small group of ppl who realli bring lots n lots of happiness into our lives. =D

These are the ppl who dun not need to try veri hard to impress us, try veri hard to flatter us.......... Yet, we love them. We juz love e way they are juz so natural around us................ brightening up our lives wif their presence, giving us so much joy juz by simply hearing their voices, looking at their body language. Hehe. Life is meaningful with e company of these ppl around us. So who r these ppl in ur lives, its time to appreciate their existance ya? hehe

Feeling veri happie now =)

.....................

2005-08-22T04:36:00.000+08:00

my recent entries haf been relatively short........hehe now quite late le but was thinking of putting some of my thoughts on my blog.......

was at 1 of my mini class outings when i heard tt one of my guy fren is attached again when onli a short while ago he broke up wif a fren of mine after abt 3.5 years of r/s. tt time he sounded so down n now only after like 3-4 months he's happily wif another gal...........WTF.

sometimes we are deeply affected by certain things even though we still look normal n behave normally. e truth is some of these things still do hurt a lot n persist until god noes when. for me, it seems to manifest into a severe fear of loneliness.............. recently i've been veri afraid of being alone at nite, being stuck with nothing to do............. cause times like these will hai me to go hu si luan xiang somemore. even these mild types of loneliness seem unbearable to me already...... but wat more can i do....... actually mostly its because of school reopen, everyone seems to be getting busy wif their work n stuff..................sigh i guess its inevitable =(

most of e times i feel like talking to ting ...................... but she's asleep. sigh, sometimes realli badly wan to talk to her so tt i won't feel so alone in a sense. or times when i wan to find someone to chat wif..................... they r always busy n haf no time for me............. either tt or they juz chat a few lines wif me n tt's practically it. so most of e time, i'm still alone n feel lonely. i hope time will makes things better. =) soon..................................

superstar

2005-08-18T02:25:00.000+08:00

juz watch e 男子决赛 for superstar.............. veri 感动。 cause i feel both e contestants sent me an inspiring msg.

how much everyone believes in u is actually really how much u believe in urself.

sigh..

2005-08-14T04:33:00.000+08:00

it was a wonderful, fantastic DnD dinner at swissotel. =) photos up in e next entry :)

wat a wonderful setting, e ballroom e stage e music n e lights..........................................

i wanted to ask her for a dance ............ but i realise that i cannot do so.......

sigh, how i wish reality is juz a nightmare that i can get out of............................

thx

2005-08-11T10:06:00.000+08:00

i guess certain things in life onli pass us once n after tt they r seemingly lost forever.

i look at e friendship that i'm trying so hard to salvage............ n wonder whether all e effort i've made is worth it........
y? because no matter how much i chat wif her on msn or during time together, i realise that i'll nvr noe whether she's realli happie...... i've lost touch wif e real her within......

i guess a lot of ppl still think i haven't walked away from all this, but tt qn is veri important to me n means a lot to me. cause wanting her to be happie was e only reason that haf keep me going all this time.

perhaps she also will nvr noe whether i'm realli happie too......

thx for e lovely postcards........ live happily k?

my well wishes =)

2005-08-04T04:46:00.000+08:00

made an effort to go to bed earlier juz now cause i've been sick recently.....couldn't seem to fall asleep though therefore was lying there wif a thousand thoughts running through my mind... in e end i decided to come online............ so here i am blogging.

one of my good frens has juz got attached =) congrats!!!! i feel so happie for u. hehehe ya i'm envious =p. that explains my blog title ----------- well wishes for this r/s of his to be lasting n loving.

holidays ending soon............this blog has been kinda half dead for a couple of months already. actually its hardly because i'm sick n bored of blogging but rather i decided not to blog too much cause my inner thoughts r all still veri negative. in a sense its good not to blog abt negative thoughts..........so tt i dun reiterate those thoughts to myself in a way. actually this blog is actually symbolic of myself...........symbolic of my inner self...........half dead......i think appropriately i will use e description trudging along...............along wif e flow of time.....

=) actually a lot of ppl noe me as a person who's happie, jokes a lot, in a way intelligent n helpful in a sense. kinda e standard mould tt ppl see me in.........
i wonder if i'm a strong person.............. i think i am .................. cause i was able to let things go n head on wif my life ........... n not look back.........

came to realise actually happiness has varying extents as well. surprisingly........ ya i'm veri happie wif my current life situation now. i feel good hanging out wif my frens n doing e things i like to do...... but i realise that tt's one extent of happiness .................. so do i feel happie now? ya i do feel happie. but strangely amidst this happiness, i occasionally feel another kind of emotion..... it juz feels that i'm incomplete.... shrug, so can i still be veri happie even though i feel incomplete? i dunno, helplessly.

i rem a moment in my life of which i realli felt i was e happiest guy on earth then.......... it lasted roughly 10 mins............... i'm glad during then i told myself to cherish every single second of it.... for tt short moment validated my existence in this world..............it was a feeling that i felt for e first time in my life, i felt complete then .............. maybe i juz haf to trudge along n hopefully tt feeling will come back again someday. =)

class chalet at tanah merah

2005-07-31T10:50:00.000+08:00

totally enjoyed e chalet yesterday nite..............kudos to weixiang for doing such a good job as organiser. =)

hehe, yesterday was e first time i've seen jingyi in 5,6 years.... i was damn taken by surprise when i saw her ------------- kinda like my jaw dropped. anyway she looks like she's getting on veri well n i'm happie for her. oh for those who dunno who she is, she's my classmate since sec1 - sec 4. Frens like these r veri special, e classmates we spend our 4 years of our teens together. Luckily there's 6 of them in my life: adrian, kenneth, jingyi, felicia, andrea n weiping.

its heartening to see how time flies n now most of e gals r striving hard in their respective careers. i wish them luck man......................entering working life n society seems tough. Luckily kenneth joined us for e bluff game...........i think our class is juz as nonsense as ever.... e way we laugh can take down e roof man.

yesterday i took a lot of time getting to noe how they r getting along in their individual lives: talked a lot to pauline, liyun, eeting, alvin, bina to be more updated wif wats going on wif them.......luckily alvin was damn nice to fetch me home from tanah merah......on e way back i made a promise to myself that wif watever spare time i have during my school sem, i'll meet up wif each one of them more often to keep in closer contact. cause good frens like these r ppl that r not easy to come by. it sucks to think if they r getting married n actually forget to invite me to their dinner cause i've drifted too far away from their lives. so 加油 xingyou. =)

hehe anyway ting has a veri nice blog so muz go check it out ok? =)

miffy

2005-07-25T05:08:00.000+08:00

last wednesday was miffy's bday. hehehe she's 50 years old le.. hehe i love miffy a lotz......as wat ting will say: i sound veri 幼稚.

miffy means a lot to me...... after all she's been at my bedside since jc2. n i got miffy of different sizes as well. =) she's been wif me throughout happie n sad times... sounds a bit atrocious but i feel that she's kinda alive to me.......i talk to her b4 i sleep n shower her wif a lot of care n concern everyday. =)

miffy is as important to me as ting is to me =)

miffy's bday wish was that she hopes tt that special someone will be always happie, even though miffy noes she's not needed in her life.....

k, i shall give miffy a hug now n tell her i'm always here to pei her nvrtheless...... =) love u lotz miffy.

hehe

2005-07-14T02:50:00.000+08:00

=) hehe, e show 有福 is veri nice right? i think its e tv series i've enjoyed e most in years. =) all thanks to weijie who taped e ending so tt i can watch it.

though its sort of an expected ending in e end, this drama series sends a clear msg across.........that we should cherish strongly e ppl who stuck it through wif us during our darkest times. =)

i like e last quote in e end. 造福者有福. cause i believe in it.

ICMAT 2005

2005-07-09T05:07:00.000+08:00

haven't been updating my blog of late. cause was working intensively for one week at ICMAT 2005 at suntec. in short, its e international conference on materials of advanced technologies.......was there to help out.

was quite a gratifying experience on e whole.....hehe got to noe a lot of new frens especially gals from ntu. hehe, i'm glad i got to noe some of them in fact. its heartening to noe that there r still several cute, n nice gals around. =)

in a sense, its a boost for me...........cause my heart still feels veri veri numb as if it isn't inside me......................because i've given it away.

i hope e future beholds something nice for me..........something that is worthwhile for me to fight for. =) shall go to bed n sort out my thoughts.......... nite ppl. miss u ting. =)

some thing to ponder.

2005-07-02T04:16:00.000+08:00

lots of thoughts flooding my mind now...........remed abt e topic that ed n i were discussing a week ago.

most of e time we r unhappie wif our loved ones cause they r not e way we wan them to be......we wan them to stay up late but they sleep early. we wan them to be more generous but they aren't..............things like tt.

perhaps somewhere around e world, there's always someone more compatible wif us. but perhaps even if we find such a person around, he/she may be even less tolerant of our own short comings....so maybe we ought to appreciate e ppl who accept n love us as who we realli are instead of demanding that they become more compatible wif us.

perhaps love is abt accepting short comings, accepting differences.

feeling happie now cause thinking of ting. =)

hehe my dream gal (one of e top 5) =)

2005-06-27T01:19:00.001+08:00

my lifestyle

2005-06-24T04:18:00.000+08:00

its 408 am now n everyone has went to sleep. =) which is great hehe.

updates: xz went for reservist training for 2 weeks :(
: ting is going to thailand from friday to tuesday :(

playing dota is realli an addiction, not tt i juz noe it after like so many months of playing it. i mean after all those hours of dota i've clocked, i think overall i'm quite satisfied at my standard of playing. hence i shall cut down n eventually stop for good.

y? because playing dota doesn't help my life. because playing dota has no connections to my ambitions. because i think there's a cap how li hai i can be at dota n i'm veri near tt limit. because i no longer enjoy e game. =)

4 games of dota per day..........maximum. slowly slowly cut down.

my ps2 is gone for good......... or rather my brother's ps2 is in taiwan wif him. juz when there r so many nice games to play.............. =(((( i wanna train e tennis game!!!

shall look less at e computer screen..........shall think more.............shall read more...............shall listen more. ting take care on ur flight later, i'll miss u. =)

2005-06-22T04:25:00.000+08:00

E simple law of love : the magnitude of hurt u feel when u fall in love wif someone n things dun work out is directly proportional to magnitude of ur love for that special person in ur life.

a helping hand

2005-06-22T04:13:00.000+08:00

sometimes when one is realli down n suffering from major depression, he too can't help himself nor keep his depressed mood under control. no matter how hard he tries, no matter how much we encourage him to 振作. i understand it well cause i've been there b4. e feeling of being swept into e big sea by waves.................e feeling of helplessness n e feeling of struggling to keep ourselves afloat.

some ppl may not understand y they can't help themselves or pull themselves out of this misery that they r self-inflicting on themselves. they dun understand cause they haven't been there b4.........

sometimes certain things happen......they affect us a lot.........we changed....................we dun love ourselves that much anymore............its because things dun work out, so we put blame on ourselves, blame ourselves for not being good enough, for not being good enough to deserve wat we ought to deserve. its this self-blame that prevents us from helping ourselves when we need it e most. we indulge in self-pity, that magnitude of hurt of noeing that we r not good enough, torturing us every minute, making our heart bleed.

this is e time when they'll stretch out their hands to find ppl to help them, help them find back themselves..........its an inevitable proces - they need ppl around them to support them so that they can start to love themselves again. all they need is a lot of time n support.

so rem to stretch out ur hands to help those ppl in need of our help ya? its worthwhile e effort i assure u. thru e downs of our lives, we learn more in e process. for me, ever since that period i've loved myself much much more than b4.... so now its my turn to stick out a helping hand. Grab it! =)