updates: IA ending

yo updates: been relatively troubled recently..........................and its entirely due to work reasons.. perhaps IA wasn't as relaxing n free of stress after all................... =) but i still remain positive i guess though veri hard...................

in a way its giving me a lot of stress n pressure on my part to become as competitive as the other interns....... oh and the competitiveness i'm referring to here is not realli positive competitiveness and rather its negative competitiveness. Which is defined by me as actions such as building up a r/s with e engineers juz for e sake that they'll give good reviews of u n consider u for further employment. or maybe purposely impressing e boss with ur wonderful knowledge or by 拍马屁. Actually i realise that there's realli a fine thin line between wats defined as positive competitiveness n negative competitiveness....... i guess that line should be the actual intention behind all those actions mention earlier. Whether it was realli a discussion to brainstorm rather than trying to impress e boss if u fellas can get wat i mean.

i simply cannot bring myself to compete on such a basis with the others............. which i too ponder whether it will prove to be the ultimate pitfall in my career n promotion prospects next time................... But somehow i guess i still do believe strongly in my values and feel that such hypocrisy cannot be condoned..... yet sometimes it kinda reminds me of the quote: 大丈夫必须能屈能伸. perhaps such cutthroat politics are inevitable or maybe even essential in our careers next time.......

i dunno, maybe if i stick to wat i believe in i might lose out a lot to those more adaptable colleagues in the future, maybe circumstances in the future might force me to become like them tooo. I'm realli not sure.............i juz hope i do not lose my values and identity in the future and that by being true to myself and being who i am, ppl can recognise the worth n value within me. =)