hehehehehehe

happie liao.............hehehe got my internet back le. somemore i can sense tt e speed of connection is much faster le. *satisfied look*

it seems that many people are suspecting some scandal going on btw ting n me cause we are spending so much time together wif each other. nothing new anyway, been hearing those comments for e past year. usually e ppl who say those comments r those ppl who dun realli understand my character n personality. i think time has proven a lot - it has proven a lot of our sincerity n effort to maintain this close frenship of ours, it has proven that we are purely platonic frens. =) i'm sure over e time i'm wif ting, a lot of ppl and frens haf realise that this bond between us is veri strong n veri platonic. it will surely last e test of time, which cannot be said for other forms of r/s nowadays. its nice to see frens and ppl understanding her special status in my life. frens like alice, yz, peijia, xz, weijie, jw, ruinie who all noe how special she is to me :)

i haf to admit i treat her veri well but like wat i told her yesterday which she agrees, i dun not go out of e way to treat her realli well. That priviledge is left for e one gal tt i love :) n it will be special.

Looking at xz's blog entry abt his travel plans for his coming SEP in sem 6, i have quite a lot of 感触. me n weijie haf one thing in common which we agreed on, we love to live in our own comfort zone..........so we may be relunctant to wander to places beyond tt i guess. Contrary to wat ppl think abt me, i'll love to go for SEP programs.......... i wan to see e world, i wan to live e lifestyles n learn e other cultures of e people around e world. I wan to go for tours in Europe, i wan to visit e great historical sites in e world. to Paris, Berlin, London n many many more wonderful cities.

Sometimes life is 无奈. e truth is i cannot afford e go for an SEP program. i cannot afford to take tours around europe cause my family cannot afford it. its a priviledge that i was not entitled to since e day i was born. Even if i was sponsored to go wif all expenses paid, i'll refuse e offer.......... sounds stupid? no. cause if i go for exchange, my mum will be left alone at home all by herself. she's old le and i 放心不下. but it doesn't mean any lesser desire on my part to see e world. i juz haf to compromise n wait for a later date, tt's all. i'm envious of those who haf e priviledge, envious of those who dun haf responsiblities to burden them here, envious of their ability to afford.

i'm sad n jealous of this priviledge........i'm tired of being poor n being unable to afford luxuries for myself. but i haf to bear on a bit more cause i noe my time is coming. its coming real soon i can feel it. soon i shall take charge of my life n work for wat i wan in life. It will be a big change cause my mum can finally stop work n sit down to relax e fruits of her labour after bringing me up for 22 years.

i'm tired............................i can't sleep well in recent days..............6 hours of sleep every nite which i'll constantly wake up n feel upset for no reason. n i can't sleep anymore after tt. I can't wait for time to pass quickly.....................time will help. =)


Quote from Macbeth: "i am in blood stepped in so far that, should i wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er"