back to happie ways =)

sometimes when i'm left to ponder alone, i feel that this world was made to be veri beautiful for all of us................. cause regardless of our achievements, our shortcomings............there exists a small group of ppl who realli bring lots n lots of happiness into our lives. =D

These are the ppl who dun not need to try veri hard to impress us, try veri hard to flatter us.......... Yet, we love them. We juz love e way they are juz so natural around us................ brightening up our lives wif their presence, giving us so much joy juz by simply hearing their voices, looking at their body language. Hehe. Life is meaningful with e company of these ppl around us. So who r these ppl in ur lives, its time to appreciate their existance ya? hehe

Feeling veri happie now =)

.....................

my recent entries haf been relatively short........hehe now quite late le but was thinking of putting some of my thoughts on my blog.......

was at 1 of my mini class outings when i heard tt one of my guy fren is attached again when onli a short while ago he broke up wif a fren of mine after abt 3.5 years of r/s. tt time he sounded so down n now only after like 3-4 months he's happily wif another gal...........WTF.

sometimes we are deeply affected by certain things even though we still look normal n behave normally. e truth is some of these things still do hurt a lot n persist until god noes when. for me, it seems to manifest into a severe fear of loneliness.............. recently i've been veri afraid of being alone at nite, being stuck with nothing to do............. cause times like these will hai me to go hu si luan xiang somemore. even these mild types of loneliness seem unbearable to me already...... but wat more can i do....... actually mostly its because of school reopen, everyone seems to be getting busy wif their work n stuff..................sigh i guess its inevitable =(

most of e times i feel like talking to ting ...................... but she's asleep. sigh, sometimes realli badly wan to talk to her so tt i won't feel so alone in a sense. or times when i wan to find someone to chat wif..................... they r always busy n haf no time for me............. either tt or they juz chat a few lines wif me n tt's practically it. so most of e time, i'm still alone n feel lonely. i hope time will makes things better. =) soon..................................

superstar

juz watch e 男子决赛 for superstar.............. veri 感动。 cause i feel both e contestants sent me an inspiring msg.

how much everyone believes in u is actually really how much u believe in urself.

sigh..

it was a wonderful, fantastic DnD dinner at swissotel. =) photos up in e next entry :)

wat a wonderful setting, e ballroom e stage e music n e lights..........................................

i wanted to ask her for a dance ............ but i realise that i cannot do so.......

sigh, how i wish reality is juz a nightmare that i can get out of............................

thx

i guess certain things in life onli pass us once n after tt they r seemingly lost forever.

i look at e friendship that i'm trying so hard to salvage............ n wonder whether all e effort i've made is worth it........
y? because no matter how much i chat wif her on msn or during time together, i realise that i'll nvr noe whether she's realli happie...... i've lost touch wif e real her within......

i guess a lot of ppl still think i haven't walked away from all this, but tt qn is veri important to me n means a lot to me. cause wanting her to be happie was e only reason that haf keep me going all this time.

perhaps she also will nvr noe whether i'm realli happie too......

thx for e lovely postcards........ live happily k?

my well wishes =)

made an effort to go to bed earlier juz now cause i've been sick recently.....couldn't seem to fall asleep though therefore was lying there wif a thousand thoughts running through my mind... in e end i decided to come online............ so here i am blogging.

one of my good frens has juz got attached =) congrats!!!! i feel so happie for u. hehehe ya i'm envious =p. that explains my blog title ----------- well wishes for this r/s of his to be lasting n loving.

holidays ending soon............this blog has been kinda half dead for a couple of months already. actually its hardly because i'm sick n bored of blogging but rather i decided not to blog too much cause my inner thoughts r all still veri negative. in a sense its good not to blog abt negative thoughts..........so tt i dun reiterate those thoughts to myself in a way. actually this blog is actually symbolic of myself...........symbolic of my inner self...........half dead......i think appropriately i will use e description trudging along...............along wif e flow of time.....

=) actually a lot of ppl noe me as a person who's happie, jokes a lot, in a way intelligent n helpful in a sense. kinda e standard mould tt ppl see me in.........
i wonder if i'm a strong person.............. i think i am .................. cause i was able to let things go n head on wif my life ........... n not look back.........

came to realise actually happiness has varying extents as well. surprisingly........ ya i'm veri happie wif my current life situation now. i feel good hanging out wif my frens n doing e things i like to do...... but i realise that tt's one extent of happiness .................. so do i feel happie now? ya i do feel happie. but strangely amidst this happiness, i occasionally feel another kind of emotion..... it juz feels that i'm incomplete.... shrug, so can i still be veri happie even though i feel incomplete? i dunno, helplessly.

i rem a moment in my life of which i realli felt i was e happiest guy on earth then.......... it lasted roughly 10 mins............... i'm glad during then i told myself to cherish every single second of it.... for tt short moment validated my existence in this world..............it was a feeling that i felt for e first time in my life, i felt complete then .............. maybe i juz haf to trudge along n hopefully tt feeling will come back again someday. =)