加油

jiayou xingyou! thx ruijuan for ur words of encouragement :)

Christmas Eve

hehe, had e most fantastic christmas eve ever! =)

IA post

hehe its been a lot of days since i started IA, coming to 10 soon liao. hahaha i shall blog abt it so that everyone noes wats going on at exxon haha.

ok la, contrary to belief, not a lot of techincal work/operations to be done la, juz mostly admin job loh hahaha excel knowledge is so important loh. Mostly interns my side, the jurong refinery juz help the engineers to find, sort and analyse data and figure.

Hehe firstly, i'll talk abt my job location. hehe its 18 pioneer road ---------------> means tuas. hahaha its e main exxon building and refinery bah, bigger than the one in jurong island. I'm working wif Liu Ping and Jia Ting, hahaha both very funnie ppl to be wif. Everyday is very fun wif them around haha a lot of funnie things happen *wink* hehe my work area is shared by 2 supervisors means 6 interns actually but e other supervisor only haf 2 interns here and 1 more in jurong island there so means 5 left loh. then got 1 poly gal veri nice one for my side so we got 6 total cramped into a corner filled wif 4 comps hahaha. so got to share e comp loh. then e comp BLOODEE slow one. u cannot click here n there n if impatient click more........... Will hang one then siao got to restart damn long. hahaha exxon so rich cannot afford more n better comps loh.

Lunch is veri good hahaha one canteen cooks all. got muslim vegetarian western, 煮炒 and 菜饭 lol damn cheap somemore subsidied 2 bucks average haha. Free ice water machine at e canteen. LOL fruits 30 cents neh e water MELON IS damn BIG for 30 cents. haha then their 菜饭 servings DAMN big. i cannot finish loh i think merv n weijie share also cannot finish one plate haha.

ok loh everyday go n do admin work haha boring but bearable. Exxon got a lot of benefits la i think they got budget for tidbits one. haha shared within e department. LOL i saw 2 full drawers of tidbits n u can take it officially one. lol got mamee n yam yam somemore. hahah
i'm quite contented la. Pay is good, 7 days of leave total, free tidbits, free sweets, free transport to jurong east everyday, food inside is cheap, lots of frens to keep me company, if IA finish still got company allowance to go eat good food haha, 5 days week, friday go off at 445 haha. near my house somemore. LOL happie :)

thx sp =)

hehe sp, juz read e entry u wrote abt going out wif me on friday............. thx thx. =) i juz wanted u to noe that i realli enjoyed ur company a lot. Even though it looked like i was comforting u n supporting u after u failed ur driving, i think u have given me much more in return. Thx for lifting my mood up cause i was quite down these few days. Thx for appreciating me.

hehehe

HAPPIE!!! ting got her IA liao! =) ...... contented. hehe

*prays hard* i hope ting gets her IA this time round........

sorry, i'm so sorry

this has been a horrible year for me................................ i can't wait for it to be over..........
i'm wrong again, maybe i shouldn't have trusted myself again. it muz haf hurt badly to u. i'm sorry, xingyou. i'm so so sorry. maybe u should nvr trust me again.

hot dog outlet =)

ok back to e hot dog outlet man........ haha quite a lot of thoughts abt it! juz tt nvr realli thought in depth b4. =) i think its realli a damn good business idea from e money making point of view. they sell hotdogs for $1.20. realli juz e bread + one sausage. i mean of course e sausage's nice la - fat n juicy haha. but i mean e cost prize is so low. + tons of shoppers heading out from ikea's payment counters. n of course there's mutualism too. the shoppers are satisfied after getting a bit of food to fill their empty stomachs. n there is plenty of money to be made.

wat i like abt this was actually e simplicity of this profit earning venture. its shows that we dun realli need to work our lives entirely for making money through fixed salaries. i mean if only we have a good business idea and we can make it work, then we might end up richer n happier from e investment of our own effort. of coz, power has a lot of part to play in this journey too i guess. haha mno knowledge, e power to influence, implement(get things done) in short e power to make it successful.

actually was flirting wif several good business ideas. Was thinking of starting a translation company....... idea is actually quite simple, kinda like a middleman job. which is to supply translation services to companies who need these forms of expertise. i mean in e increasing global society, there is an increasing need to communicate across different languages. i think the market needs a form of organising or pooling together ppl in this area such as ppl who can speak all sorts of languages.......... n of coz e rewards r high. =) depends bah, i think this idea needs quite high fixed cost to find such expertise. i'll probably start wif something small first then move up :) haha hope to find better ideas man. =)

post exam post

lol. congrats to everyone for finally finishing their exams man......... =) hehe now almost all e good news are complete. other than patiently waiting for ting's IA confirmation, e rest of e stuff r perfect! haha how i wish i have activities of everyday planned out like ting, something to do everyday. *envious* hehe but nvm la stay at home also a good thing can save money.

Firstly thanks to nic for driving me down to ting's house to pass her e present. Hehe THX! =) haha xz juz went to eat buffet lunch wif someone LOH. bo jio leh. who wans to eat buffet lunch wif me? i veri long nvr go eat buffet liao, i'm sure it will be very enjoyable lunch bah. hahaha.

Looking forward to IA semester man, plenty of stuff to learn. n money to make man. finally can get all those things i realli wanted! However work life sounds dreadful leh, haha but next sem a lot of ppl will be going for SEP le, so i'm veri glad at least i got an IA placement otherwise muggin again sounds dreadful.

feel like doing things that are new man. like going for a concert or some drama performance. better than sitting at home n rot man. At e moment, life feels great! haha hmmm should i go JB on friday with my class? a bit lethargic leh. See how long even though i still have ringgit to spend hehe.

One irritating incident happened: i was at ikea trying to shop for a box for ting's present loh. u noe ikea got this hot dog outlet? outside e counters there. then they have a veri cool design of dispensing e sauces -- which is to squeeze e bottle hanged upside down. aiyah story veri simple la, i bought my hot dog then SOME idiot walk past tt thing n squeeze a WHOLE lot of mustard sauce juz for e fun of it when she bought nothing n made a mess. her hands damn itchy leh........ talking abt waste minimization man. dunno wats her problem. so irritating. =S

生日快乐

happie 21st birthday to ting!! happie bday to e most wonderful gal ever. =) hope all ur wishes come true gal..... u r e best!

Exams post :)

how fast time flies man, its back to e exam time liao................ i hate exams, i'll become veri weak n feel veri unwell during this period. i think it muz be i put myself through too much stress bah. Firstly i would realli like to wish everyone good luck wif their exams, special mention to yuanli who should really take care of his health man. hehe =) i'm so glad that next sem i won't take 5 modules again. All these consec exams is realli burning me dry loh. No much motivation left liao. hehe recently i realli enjoyed a lot of wonderful company from ys, xz n merv in school man. its nice to study wif ppl like them who can last through e nite then go for a late supper or wat. veri nice memories. thx guys, i think its during this time when i realli appreciate true frens like u ppl. =) hehe supper juz now was fantastic man. realli liked e spring chicken i shared wif xz haha. actually e onli thing i'm looking forward to this holidays is finding a feeling of contentment in myself. hehe i deserved to be happie! Right now i juz haf a simple wish bah, hope ting can successfully get her internship wif chartered bah! jiayou ting, i noe u can do it gal. =D

november is a birthday month =)

i love november..... its my favourite month of the year...... but not because its e month which has my birthday in it. i like november cause its special i guess. =) juz a feeling thingy. so many of my frens share bdays in it..... ys's one is first cause its on e 4th hehe plenty more to come :)

my birthday is coming soon........... =) i'm always happie when its coming, and then when it comes i guess i dun really enjoy it already. that's generally some of my thoughts for the past few years.....

i've already made my bday wish =) thought abt it long ago le and felt that its really something i wan a lot. hmmm, actually on my bday i dun really like to receive presents or gifts........ i love it when ppl write stuff for me, the longer the better, the more sincere it really gets........ cause i feel that by penning down ur thoughts for someone u care is realli a veri touching gesture. That's y i always express myself through writing for ppl that are important in my life. cause i always spend a lot of effort to think through n write down my thoughts.

k i haf to end this entry, i'm getting a bit drowsy n need to rest. haven't been in good health recently. =)

disappointed

These few days haven't been good. was actually quite disappointed wif myself......... shrug, i dunno why but i juz shrug e disappointment off me. seems to be shadowing me. =(

things always seem to turn out the way u dun wan it to turn out. sigh............................................ i wish i could have been more confident abt myself then instead of slightly panicking on e spot. felt so dwarf then............ dunno suddenly flooded by a lot of thoughts in my mind. maybe i wasn't really so confident abt myself. i mean within me bah tt's y during times of stress maybe tt's y it doesn't come through. seems to be a crash down on my confidences lvls........................... thought i will come out strong again, i juz think this incident made me feel a lot abt my inadequacies.

its such a small incident and i can't shake it off my mind........... seems to come back persistently. maybe i'm juz perturbed by the fact that i can actually fumble like tt........ makes me wonder how i'm going to fulfill my dreams n ambitions noeing that failure along the way is inevitable. The me now simply is not good enough in terms of attitude i guess. Muz buck up. Nod. its always nicer when ting is around me, i seem to draw more strength from her i guess cause i noe i can't let myself down like tt. e rest is realli realli up to myself i guess.

Watever the outcome, i'm still disappointed at the way i've coped wif it.

worrying

Hehe, its 406 am now n i can't go to sleep. Lesson is at 9 am tml in business haha think its because i've been sleeping at 6am for e past few days. Was lying around in bed n stuff. Had some thoughts in my mind so blog loh :)

Actually these few days i was wondering a few things...........i think our lives in general have some stressful periods n some non-stressful ones as well. For some periods, we lead a carefree life cause there is nothing for us to worry. Other times, i guess no matter how hard we try, there is always something for us to worry. I guess its how we cope wif this form of worrying bah.

Juz take for example the studying semester, as it approaches the end stress seems to kinda build up. hmmm, i think it kinda builds up as accumulative worrying bah. I bet its inevitable in everyone ya? Like worrying whether revision will be finished, worrying abt a very difficult chapter or module which we still haven't grasp. worrying if we have slacked too much, worrying if we will pass our interviews, worrying about money, worrying about a whole of things. Tt's exam period for me.

I guess its how we cope wif it bah, its better to not brood over such things right? so 加油 everyone ya? should focus more on actions to pia rather than worrying excessively. =D hahah feels better blogging those thoughts out. i guess in life we juz do our best right? n hope things turn out well. =) i think i muz learn to be more 看得开 in e form of studies. ys is a good example =) sometimes i realli envy him for his carefree attitude.

Heheh take care everyone =) hahahah blog veri soon again! =)

sorry for the extended blogging break

lol Dear frens, thx for repeatedly coming to my blog to check for new entries only to be let down time n time again in recent weeks. =) hahah was 50% busy and 50% lazy to blog since there's not much happening stuff going on in my life.
Firstly, to ppl who dun get to see me often but read my blog often to catch up wif me, (e.g. jiahao) i'm doing veri fine in school n in everything in general. Its been nice to work in project groups consisting of nice ppl this sem...... haha makes the hard work part much more enjoyable i would say.
Realise that compared to a lot of ppl around me, i realli dun seem to have much commitments in my life to burden me down. In short i lead a carefree life. haha 5 modules, (one lab nonexaminable, one engin prof, and one mno, all relaxing modules) no tuition, no cca, no gf means that i have a lot of time left for myself. =) perhaps tt's y i can afford to sleep in lecture n skip them w/o too much consideration as i will eventually haf time to catch up on my work.
Been very thrifty recently, seriously have my first savings in the month of september after like 3 years? ya wan to save up for a lot of stuff. so cut down on expensive food, necessary drinks and stuff.
Feeling happie n contented to some extent, i mean though life is monotonous i still find it meaningful to do stuff for my frens around me and spend more time with them when they need it. =D looking forward to meeting up with u guys: jiahao, xueni especially. take care everyone, i love u guys lotsz.

Byebye

Have u ever came across ppl in ur life who r so-called your frens but they nvr seem to be interested in finding more about u as a person/or concerned abt u?

These ppl will nvr arrange to meet up wif u in person n think its your responsibility to ask them out.
These ppl will only msg u to talk when they r feeling troubled n wan to share their troubles wif u. Its always themselves, themselves and themselves. Makes u wonder at times whether they r more interested in u as a listening ear or interested in you as a good fren.
They nvr bother to find out more abt wat u do in your life or wat who u r as a person.
They feel that they trust u as their good fren as tt's good enough, trust u to tell u their stuff. Who needs their trust when they nvr show u any interest or concern? Are we suppose to be honoured that they trust us?
They'll only come to u when they need help n are never around when u need help.
These ppl are too blinded to see their own self-centered behaviour n realise how irritating it is.

Conclusion: There is no point hanging around or making friends wif this type of ppl, cause they only noe how to take you for granted....... i'm sorry, for i like myself too much to tolerate being treated like tt. Byebye.

thx a lot xz =)

everything's finally ok..... have been veri tiring for e past 3 days.............

veri worried n unhappie these few days.................... cause mum is not realli feeling veeri well.... in fact i would use e word feeling quite bad will be more appropriate...... Tuesday nite i pei her go to this doctor near my house.......... in e end juz gave more medication. of coz eat liao didn't get better, in fact got a bit worse. ok these few weeks my mum was diagnosed wif high blood pressure... so she's prescribed some medicine which is suppose to keep blood pressure low......... but since she started taking tt medicine, she begin to be cmi liao....... in fact she feels veri weak, so she needs to lie down then got headache, dizziness. so in e end e clinic doctor juz gave me painkillers for her headache n some anti drowisness pills............ WHICH obviously is not solving e root of e problem....... more medicine = more weak = more sick so last nite became quite serious then we decided to go hospital in e middle of e nite......

can't say e amount of gratitude when xz drove me n my mum to SGH at such a late hour. n tt he pei me for abt 2.5 hrs waiting there. if he wasn't there i'll die of fatigue n boredom waiting for 5 hours. reach there liao turn out that my mum was obviously not well so we got a wheel chair for her ............ then transferred to this bed n moved into e A n E room for e doctor to see......... obviously quite serious la, looking at her face she looks damn sick.. so was quite worried loh.......... then took a lot of time to take x-ray urine test blood test n watever la. so i waited damn looooooooooooooooooong until can die. then in e end at 5 e doctor decided to keep her in e wonderful SGH for observation......... diagnosis was quite simple.......... turns out that these few weeks since she got diagnosed wif high blood pressure, my mum decided to lessen her intake of salt by a considerable amount then on top of this, those prescribed high blood pressure pills depleted e salt content somemore, aggravating e problem.. ------------------> serious deficiency in salt content.

ok there n then, now she's getting better le.

sigh............................. last nite as i took a short stroll back thought of quite a few things la........... in e end feel quite sad in a way. here i am, soon to be 23 years old, still cannot provide luxury n comfort for my mum.............. she needs to provide for me tt's y she has to work n her work is tiring...... =S sigh she so old liao, i dun even haf a car to drive her to hospital when she's not feeling well. i wonder when i can even afford to get a car to drive her around instead of making her take public transport all e time............ then in e end when she stay in hospital still have to choose C class ward so tt can save money........... i feel useless. suddenly i felt wat i've always felt in my childhood, that i badly wan to grow up fast n provide good things n comfort for my mum. cause she has realli realli endured enough hardships for her life. considering now tt she's 59 n she went to work at e age of 16, she's worked for abt 43 years consec........

maybe at this point of time i haf to juz pray, pray that she still has enough time to wait for me to 孝顺 her back in return............enough time for her to see me graduate, get married, bao my kids and sit in my car........ if not i'll realli regret for e rest of my life.

thx to everyone who showed me concern n support. especially ting. =)

back to happie ways =)

sometimes when i'm left to ponder alone, i feel that this world was made to be veri beautiful for all of us................. cause regardless of our achievements, our shortcomings............there exists a small group of ppl who realli bring lots n lots of happiness into our lives. =D

These are the ppl who dun not need to try veri hard to impress us, try veri hard to flatter us.......... Yet, we love them. We juz love e way they are juz so natural around us................ brightening up our lives wif their presence, giving us so much joy juz by simply hearing their voices, looking at their body language. Hehe. Life is meaningful with e company of these ppl around us. So who r these ppl in ur lives, its time to appreciate their existance ya? hehe

Feeling veri happie now =)

.....................

my recent entries haf been relatively short........hehe now quite late le but was thinking of putting some of my thoughts on my blog.......

was at 1 of my mini class outings when i heard tt one of my guy fren is attached again when onli a short while ago he broke up wif a fren of mine after abt 3.5 years of r/s. tt time he sounded so down n now only after like 3-4 months he's happily wif another gal...........WTF.

sometimes we are deeply affected by certain things even though we still look normal n behave normally. e truth is some of these things still do hurt a lot n persist until god noes when. for me, it seems to manifest into a severe fear of loneliness.............. recently i've been veri afraid of being alone at nite, being stuck with nothing to do............. cause times like these will hai me to go hu si luan xiang somemore. even these mild types of loneliness seem unbearable to me already...... but wat more can i do....... actually mostly its because of school reopen, everyone seems to be getting busy wif their work n stuff..................sigh i guess its inevitable =(

most of e times i feel like talking to ting ...................... but she's asleep. sigh, sometimes realli badly wan to talk to her so tt i won't feel so alone in a sense. or times when i wan to find someone to chat wif..................... they r always busy n haf no time for me............. either tt or they juz chat a few lines wif me n tt's practically it. so most of e time, i'm still alone n feel lonely. i hope time will makes things better. =) soon..................................

superstar

juz watch e 男子决赛 for superstar.............. veri 感动。 cause i feel both e contestants sent me an inspiring msg.

how much everyone believes in u is actually really how much u believe in urself.

sigh..

it was a wonderful, fantastic DnD dinner at swissotel. =) photos up in e next entry :)

wat a wonderful setting, e ballroom e stage e music n e lights..........................................

i wanted to ask her for a dance ............ but i realise that i cannot do so.......

sigh, how i wish reality is juz a nightmare that i can get out of............................

thx

i guess certain things in life onli pass us once n after tt they r seemingly lost forever.

i look at e friendship that i'm trying so hard to salvage............ n wonder whether all e effort i've made is worth it........
y? because no matter how much i chat wif her on msn or during time together, i realise that i'll nvr noe whether she's realli happie...... i've lost touch wif e real her within......

i guess a lot of ppl still think i haven't walked away from all this, but tt qn is veri important to me n means a lot to me. cause wanting her to be happie was e only reason that haf keep me going all this time.

perhaps she also will nvr noe whether i'm realli happie too......

thx for e lovely postcards........ live happily k?

my well wishes =)

made an effort to go to bed earlier juz now cause i've been sick recently.....couldn't seem to fall asleep though therefore was lying there wif a thousand thoughts running through my mind... in e end i decided to come online............ so here i am blogging.

one of my good frens has juz got attached =) congrats!!!! i feel so happie for u. hehehe ya i'm envious =p. that explains my blog title ----------- well wishes for this r/s of his to be lasting n loving.

holidays ending soon............this blog has been kinda half dead for a couple of months already. actually its hardly because i'm sick n bored of blogging but rather i decided not to blog too much cause my inner thoughts r all still veri negative. in a sense its good not to blog abt negative thoughts..........so tt i dun reiterate those thoughts to myself in a way. actually this blog is actually symbolic of myself...........symbolic of my inner self...........half dead......i think appropriately i will use e description trudging along...............along wif e flow of time.....

=) actually a lot of ppl noe me as a person who's happie, jokes a lot, in a way intelligent n helpful in a sense. kinda e standard mould tt ppl see me in.........
i wonder if i'm a strong person.............. i think i am .................. cause i was able to let things go n head on wif my life ........... n not look back.........

came to realise actually happiness has varying extents as well. surprisingly........ ya i'm veri happie wif my current life situation now. i feel good hanging out wif my frens n doing e things i like to do...... but i realise that tt's one extent of happiness .................. so do i feel happie now? ya i do feel happie. but strangely amidst this happiness, i occasionally feel another kind of emotion..... it juz feels that i'm incomplete.... shrug, so can i still be veri happie even though i feel incomplete? i dunno, helplessly.

i rem a moment in my life of which i realli felt i was e happiest guy on earth then.......... it lasted roughly 10 mins............... i'm glad during then i told myself to cherish every single second of it.... for tt short moment validated my existence in this world..............it was a feeling that i felt for e first time in my life, i felt complete then .............. maybe i juz haf to trudge along n hopefully tt feeling will come back again someday. =)

class chalet at tanah merah

totally enjoyed e chalet yesterday nite..............kudos to weixiang for doing such a good job as organiser. =)

hehe, yesterday was e first time i've seen jingyi in 5,6 years.... i was damn taken by surprise when i saw her ------------- kinda like my jaw dropped. anyway she looks like she's getting on veri well n i'm happie for her. oh for those who dunno who she is, she's my classmate since sec1 - sec 4. Frens like these r veri special, e classmates we spend our 4 years of our teens together. Luckily there's 6 of them in my life: adrian, kenneth, jingyi, felicia, andrea n weiping.

its heartening to see how time flies n now most of e gals r striving hard in their respective careers. i wish them luck man......................entering working life n society seems tough. Luckily kenneth joined us for e bluff game...........i think our class is juz as nonsense as ever.... e way we laugh can take down e roof man.

yesterday i took a lot of time getting to noe how they r getting along in their individual lives: talked a lot to pauline, liyun, eeting, alvin, bina to be more updated wif wats going on wif them.......luckily alvin was damn nice to fetch me home from tanah merah......on e way back i made a promise to myself that wif watever spare time i have during my school sem, i'll meet up wif each one of them more often to keep in closer contact. cause good frens like these r ppl that r not easy to come by. it sucks to think if they r getting married n actually forget to invite me to their dinner cause i've drifted too far away from their lives. so 加油 xingyou. =)

hehe anyway ting has a veri nice blog so muz go check it out ok? =)

miffy

last wednesday was miffy's bday. hehehe she's 50 years old le.. hehe i love miffy a lotz......as wat ting will say: i sound veri 幼稚.

miffy means a lot to me...... after all she's been at my bedside since jc2. n i got miffy of different sizes as well. =) she's been wif me throughout happie n sad times... sounds a bit atrocious but i feel that she's kinda alive to me.......i talk to her b4 i sleep n shower her wif a lot of care n concern everyday. =)

miffy is as important to me as ting is to me =)

miffy's bday wish was that she hopes tt that special someone will be always happie, even though miffy noes she's not needed in her life.....

k, i shall give miffy a hug now n tell her i'm always here to pei her nvrtheless...... =) love u lotz miffy.

hehe

=) hehe, e show 有福 is veri nice right? i think its e tv series i've enjoyed e most in years. =) all thanks to weijie who taped e ending so tt i can watch it.

though its sort of an expected ending in e end, this drama series sends a clear msg across.........that we should cherish strongly e ppl who stuck it through wif us during our darkest times. =)

i like e last quote in e end. 造福者有福. cause i believe in it.

ICMAT 2005

haven't been updating my blog of late. cause was working intensively for one week at ICMAT 2005 at suntec. in short, its e international conference on materials of advanced technologies.......was there to help out.

was quite a gratifying experience on e whole.....hehe got to noe a lot of new frens especially gals from ntu. hehe, i'm glad i got to noe some of them in fact. its heartening to noe that there r still several cute, n nice gals around. =)

in a sense, its a boost for me...........cause my heart still feels veri veri numb as if it isn't inside me......................because i've given it away.

i hope e future beholds something nice for me..........something that is worthwhile for me to fight for. =) shall go to bed n sort out my thoughts.......... nite ppl. miss u ting. =)

some thing to ponder.

lots of thoughts flooding my mind now...........remed abt e topic that ed n i were discussing a week ago.

most of e time we r unhappie wif our loved ones cause they r not e way we wan them to be......we wan them to stay up late but they sleep early. we wan them to be more generous but they aren't..............things like tt.

perhaps somewhere around e world, there's always someone more compatible wif us. but perhaps even if we find such a person around, he/she may be even less tolerant of our own short comings....so maybe we ought to appreciate e ppl who accept n love us as who we realli are instead of demanding that they become more compatible wif us.

perhaps love is abt accepting short comings, accepting differences.

feeling happie now cause thinking of ting. =)

hehe my dream gal (one of e top 5) =)

my lifestyle

its 408 am now n everyone has went to sleep. =) which is great hehe.

updates: xz went for reservist training for 2 weeks :(
: ting is going to thailand from friday to tuesday :(

playing dota is realli an addiction, not tt i juz noe it after like so many months of playing it. i mean after all those hours of dota i've clocked, i think overall i'm quite satisfied at my standard of playing. hence i shall cut down n eventually stop for good.

y? because playing dota doesn't help my life. because playing dota has no connections to my ambitions. because i think there's a cap how li hai i can be at dota n i'm veri near tt limit. because i no longer enjoy e game. =)

4 games of dota per day..........maximum. slowly slowly cut down.

my ps2 is gone for good......... or rather my brother's ps2 is in taiwan wif him. juz when there r so many nice games to play.............. =(((( i wanna train e tennis game!!!

shall look less at e computer screen..........shall think more.............shall read more...............shall listen more. ting take care on ur flight later, i'll miss u. =)

E simple law of love : the magnitude of hurt u feel when u fall in love wif someone n things dun work out is directly proportional to magnitude of ur love for that special person in ur life.

a helping hand

sometimes when one is realli down n suffering from major depression, he too can't help himself nor keep his depressed mood under control. no matter how hard he tries, no matter how much we encourage him to 振作. i understand it well cause i've been there b4. e feeling of being swept into e big sea by waves.................e feeling of helplessness n e feeling of struggling to keep ourselves afloat.

some ppl may not understand y they can't help themselves or pull themselves out of this misery that they r self-inflicting on themselves. they dun understand cause they haven't been there b4.........

sometimes certain things happen......they affect us a lot.........we changed....................we dun love ourselves that much anymore............its because things dun work out, so we put blame on ourselves, blame ourselves for not being good enough, for not being good enough to deserve wat we ought to deserve. its this self-blame that prevents us from helping ourselves when we need it e most. we indulge in self-pity, that magnitude of hurt of noeing that we r not good enough, torturing us every minute, making our heart bleed.

this is e time when they'll stretch out their hands to find ppl to help them, help them find back themselves..........its an inevitable proces - they need ppl around them to support them so that they can start to love themselves again. all they need is a lot of time n support.

so rem to stretch out ur hands to help those ppl in need of our help ya? its worthwhile e effort i assure u. thru e downs of our lives, we learn more in e process. for me, ever since that period i've loved myself much much more than b4.... so now its my turn to stick out a helping hand. Grab it! =)

=)=)

quiet time at nite. my mind kinda feel more peaceful so i shall blog now :)

juz read weijie's blog.......hmmm i realli share his sentiments n thoughts. perhaps at times we haf to keep our mouths shut for our own good..... but how tough it is to do so. how tough it is to stop acting on e impulse n say something nasty or sarcastic in e spur of e moment. things that u noe once spoken out won't do u any good.

i've been watching 有福 everyday w/o fail. personally i think its a veri nice show wif a good plot. sometimes juz pondering abt e plot also makes me think a lot. those who watch e show should noe that e lead (christopher lee) likes jialing (ann kok), hmmm in e end jialing marries another man which presumably hurts her veri much so i guess maybe at e end she hopes to have another chance wif christopher lee again. hmmm, maybe time does tell us who's e person who realli loves us a lot w/o any demanding any gratification. maybe it does. lets see wat e ending is shall we? =)

choosing wat thoughts we place in our minds determines our paths in life............
these few days there was a thought that plagued mine.......
"even if i had all e money n wealth in e world, i noe i won't be happie cause u r not here to share it wif me"
perhaps choosing to allow this thought to dwell within me has caused me a lot of hurt n sadness.
so maybe i should vacant my mind of thoughts so tt i still can feel that life is still positive.

quote from adrian's blog: 如果我有一棵快乐草，我会把它送给你，因为我希望你快乐。 如果我有两棵快乐草，我会送你一棵，自己留一棵，因为我希望我们都快乐。 如果我有三棵快乐草，我会送你两棵，自己留一棵，因为我希望你比我更快乐。

i onli had one 快乐草 which i gave to u. its tough looking for another one for myself. perhaps it will take a long time to find it. or perhaps there's someone out there who will give me her 快乐草. =) nvrtheless, i noe its worth waiting for.

new resolution

enjoying good food is a luxury.... dun u guys agree? its easily to be contented wif a few dishes of delicacies in front of u. =)

saturday was a wonderful day. soccer was veri fun n enjoyable n stress-free especially wif 自己人。was kinda comparing my mood during this soccer session n e one juz after exams...... glad that i've cheered up a lot n looked forward liao.

kudos to yh for suggesting that we head down to adam's road food center for dinner. Was simply marvellous, fantastic. =) i enjoyed e food there lotz. of coz, e company mattered as well. e nasi lemak i ordered was fantastic, think i'll bring ting there soon to eat. =) hehehe, good things i always rem her one. its nice to engage in big conversations wif 7-8 frens hahaha wonder if u ppl haf a chance to do tt. hahah veri funnie when 7 ppl aim one person n talk abt his gossip. of coz these type of things r not meant in a malicious way, hahaha sooner or later everyone will be under close scrutiny. 风水轮流转。

i've made a resolution for next sem. ----------- which is i'll attend all my tutorial classes even if they r 8am in e morning. of coz, i'll not make a resolution to go for all lectures hahaha u guys juz need to sit in a chem engin lesson n see wat i'm doing inside there. cn5 ppl should noe me well. tt's also e reason y i dun go for my lectures cause since i dun listen, i feel paiseh going there to chat wif frens n bothering them when they r trying hard to focus on e lesson.

summary of last sem tutorials: attended all pdc (control) tutorials *even took cab sometimes*
attended only 1 of e weekly MTO tutorials (1/11)
attended all bio tutorials (cause there were onli 3 n got take attendance)
attended less than half of e kinetics tutorial (5/11)

hehehe, looks like i got a lot to work on. =)

summary of last sem lectures: attended abt 30% of pdc lectures
attended onli 1 out of 12 MTO lectures
attended abt 75% of bio lectures
attended abt 40% of kinetics lectures.

erm, i give up on my lecture attendences. =P

can things be e same again?

we've all been in this situation b4...

we fall in love wif someone special, unfortunately things dun work out..... inevitably, will lead to avoiding n ignoring e other party.............we feel hurt, noeing that things can no longer be as beautiful as b4............

E sad thing is this whole process is an irreversible one.

Faced wif a decision to either let things stay in this bad state for a long period of time or to try to work hard to go back to where it originally was...................................

can things be e same ever again? can wat happen be forgotten?

i dun noe............but i guess we can try......sometimes we haf to be selfless n keep trying...........for e sake of not losing tt precious friendship.

standstill

i realised e thoughts in my mind has come to a standstill, maybe that's e reason why my blog entries have stopped as well.........i stand here, feeling lost n looking all around me. where should i go on from here? how long should i take to decide where to move on?

i shall blog abt some 真心话。 真心话 is a veri appropriate phrase to describe these thoughts cause they realli come from deep down within me...

=) everyone of us in this world is a veri unique n special individual............we live in this big world where billions of other individuals reside in too..... i'm sure a lot of us has questioned wats our purpose in life. maybe we were brought into this world to study hard, work hard then die......... If u look at it from a simple perspective, we live for 70 years in this world then we vanish from it. simple as that. so why not die now? doesn't make a diff i guess.......... between now n later, we all haf to die....

i guess we all live n exist in this world for a simple reason.......each one of us live on for e same reason..... Every passing day of our lives, i'm sure we all live our lives e best way we know how, perhaps occasionally stumbling along e way........ This reason nvrtheless is simple, each of us has within him/her a strong sense of self worth, we live each day so that ppl can see recognise our worth, to validate our existence..... we hope that ppl understand us, love us cause we noe we r worthy of that love n understanding.

that's wat separates e true friends, family n bfs/gfs from e hi/bye friends or ppl we dun noe. they give us massive love, support, self belief......cause we r worthy of it. sigh, sometimes it hurts veri veri badly when u noe that ppl around u do not cherish ur existence nor recognise ur self worth. tt feeling sucks..................................big time. in short, we live this life remembering n cherishing e ppl who brought worth into our lives for us............Its a priceless feeling.........

ting, u r perhaps e onli person who truely sees all my worth n cherish it........n for that veri simple reason, u've been e onli person to haf walked e straight path into my heart. 谢谢你. tonite will be a marvellous sting ray dinner wif u. *hugz*

river of life

where e river of life brings me, i do not know. i will not swim against e currents cause that may drown me. perhaps following e flow will bring me to some place veri beautiful.............in e end. =)

interesting dota clan nicks

hehe, its quite interesting to decipher my dota clan nicks.......

Clan name: i.have.no.clan (IHNC)
members:
i.have.no.life - me (cause i dun not haf a life n 沉迷于 mass dota everynite regardless of school term or holidays.)
i.have.no.god - nic (hahaha this one easy to decipher cause he's a free thinker)
i.have.no.sleep - matt (cause matt realli doesn't sleep when he's veri into projects or games)
i.have.no.balls - jeffery (hahaha contrary to his nick, he's realli e most pro dota player i realli respect)
i.have.no.guts - weijie (weijie is another choingster who makes his opponents haf no guts haha i remed ys said tt to him when they were on different teams)
i.have.no.cash - minjie (cause his bank account is damn full n he's i.have.alotof.credit.)
i.have.no.micro - xianzhi (ok xz's micro needs improving also :P)
i.have.no.skill - weixiang (hahaha this one veri direct liao)
i.have.no.sex - danny (this one's veri interesting hahaha obviously its not veri true la)
i.have.no.hair - merv (hahaha i guess this is because merv doesn't haf much hair? :S)
i.have.no.frens - ys (cause he tends to fly aeroplane n 重色轻友）
i.have.no.gal(haven't join yet cause he's in china) - jiahao (cause he has no gf haha)
i.have.no.clan - yuanli (cause when he thought of that he didn't noe its e clan name haha)

lol, anyone wans to jio a clan match? 5 v 5 =p i will say we r not bad hahaha probabilty of winning X 100 times when no.balls is playing.

Hail e winning spirit!

haha after several days of procastination to change my blog template, i decided that i'll take e easy way out n use my old blog template until i find e mood n e patience to go do up something tt's nice. =) hence its good to be back again ya? in e blogging spirit.

Summary of e past few days: Liverpool won e champs league on thursday morning................

A veri pekchek thing that happen on wed nite: i was out wif ting having a marvellous dinner at some area of chinatown which i apparaently nvr been there b4. ok, we were having a nice stroll when we came across this 7-11 store that had a singapore pools betting station linked to e counter which is operated by e cashier. wat luck i thought, destined for me to place a bet, somemore it will make viewing e match a little more exciting since i've staked something on it. i look at e odds n decided on e draw. it reads 3.10. ok nvm i passed my betting slip to e cashier n guess wat? he told me that e counter for betting was closed. i was shocked..........not when OBVIOUSLY on e betting screen it says bets will be closed at 11pm. i looked at ting's watch n it was 9 plus.........zzzzzz then i gave that cashier an irritated look because i knew its obviously possible to bet juz tt he's too lazy n tell me that e counter is closed. damn, y my luck so suay one..........so i was sian diao n left e shop........

AS it turned out, e match finished full time as a 3-3 draw...........hahaha ok anyway i onli place a 10 bucks bet so e opport cost was a 21 buck payout............not a lot of money a lot of ppl will say....so since e money is negligible i should not be so 计较。but my opinion of this is not reali abt e money involved...........its for e feeling that i got a prediction right n to prove that my track record on betting this type of things is quite good. =) of coz i dun indulge in 100s of bucks in bet cause i dun wanna 沉迷 wif too much betting. cause i dun need to take risk wif that amount of money. but e 21 bucks made me sore..................it will haf sponsered a wonderful sting ray treat i'm planning for ting. KNS.

ok lesson learnt from liverpool: if u wan something, believe in it till e end........fight for wat u deserve n at e end of it, victory will ultimately be urs to savour............there will be times where it is easy to lose hope, succumbing to it will inevitably bring disappointment. sadly, e eleventh hour is always there to test e faith of true winners.........w/o coming from 0-3 down to draw 3 -3, will victory be half as sweet perhaps? Hail Liverpool, e champions of Europe............

Champions league final beckons.......

hehehe, the final game of champions league is juz a day away. It will be a clash of e titans....................e reds of england against e reds of italy. hehehe, nope i dun support either milan nor liverpool.........always been a neutral supporter who supports fantastic play rather than e teams. ok la, muz cherish e last game of e football season in europe. a bit sad cause this year got no world cup nor euro..........

kk, hereby offering my e comfort of my house for those who wans to watch this epic game together....... =) hehe personally, i tip liverpool to snatch the title. hahaha we shall see ya? after watching psv almost singlehandedly demolishing milan in e semis, i dun haf much confidence in them. hahah look out for e crucial midfield battle between gattuso n gerrad. =) cheers.

supper

hehehe, converted my blog back to its old layout. that was after a futile attempt to get a new blog template i found that was quite nice to publish. hahaha, this time haf to employ xz's help again to help me get things fixed. so rem to stay tuned for e lastest changes. *abish*

hehe, life is carefree nowadays.........kinda understand wat everyone is going thru nowadays. wif no job no commitment, we basically juz slack thru the days of our lives. hehehe, i like e way things r now.......it feels good not to fret abt wat time to wake up, i juz sleep as long as i wan n wake up when i feel like it. lol, that's freedom for me.

it feels veri good to be close again to someone who's veri veri veri special...=) i'll cherish more of the future that is to come.

Since monday, i'd set a new record ------------- 6 consec nites of supppppppppppper. hahaha, anyway recently my complexion is worsening =(. should be attributed to e amount of OILY, UNHEALTHY, JUNK food that i eat. hahahaha, sometimes right all my meals for consecutive days r junk. Kk, though recently i've been cutting down a lot on e amount of KFC i eat, i haf began to eat other types of fried food, etc etc. ok la eccentric meal patterns + shitty food = hahaha veri unhealthy xingyou. Ate prata, nasi lemak, kfc, western food, prata, western food, 五香 mee goreng. blahblahblah. ooooooo no wonder my complexion is getting horrendous. hahahha luckily gals go for character more than looks bah. Phew, i'm saved.

This morning i went to market wif minjie n ATE pork PORRIDGE. =D hehehe, muz 保养 a bit mah this week going out wif someone nice neh. =) e good thing for me is no matter how much i seem to eat, i can't gain much weight........... hahaha, i wonder whether that is good or bad. hmmm hehehe nvm la i juz eat n eat. bet some of u r envious now. *punch* take care guys! =)

blog reconstruction in progress

=)

random thoughts

oooooooo, juz reached home from supper alone. hehehe went to toh guan to haf prata then back home again. totally enjoyed e walk n e fresh air around me.

Random thoughts are flooding my mind now. hehehe so i shall blog "randomly" as well. i came to realise a law of life seems to be "nvr try to swim against e currents" i suppose everything in life happens for a reason..........so we juz haf to take things as it is ya? This approach of taking everything easily n allowing things to happen naturally w/o becoming too involved or attached to e outcome seems to be a hidden recipe of success. be it in studies sports love friends bah. its not difficult to observe that this mental approach has determined e success paths of many ppl in the course of their lives.

Life is simple, so we shouldn't try to complicate it, agree? Life is abt living each moment to e fullest, n being happie.......i'm sure if one can live in e moment truely, he/she can attain a kind of spiritual well-being n peacefulness within ourselves. heheh as i'm blogging, i live in this wonderful moment n i'm contented wif wat my life has to offer me. =) wat abt u guys?

this morning i woke up i cried......a lot a lot.....to be honest i also didn't noe e reason y i cried..........it juz came veri naturally. it wasn't a feeling of sadness n despair, rather it was because i felt veri 感动。at that moment, i was thinking of wat has happened to me in e previous one year.........how ting was always there for me w/o fail.
When i'm down she talks to me on e phone.
When i'm down she keeps me company by going out for meals wif me.
When i've got problems wif schoolwork, she teaches me everything n does her best to help.
When i dun go to school, she updates me on everything that is going on.
When i send her home, her presence showers me wif so much happiness.
When i'm in despair n feeling lousy, she reminds me of how fantastic a person i am.
n many many more.

hehehe i realise that i tend to blog abt ting a lot. i hope its not boring n stuff for u ppl. i guess perhaps e frequency of how much i blog abt her cause she's in my thoughts at those moments are an indication of how important she is in my life to me. Not to mention e countless no of fantastic frens i got to noe through her, like yz, alice, pj, jw, bq

Wat more can i ask from life when everything is so wonderful for me?

i think of ting.

i smile n i'm contented =D

bon voyage ting =)

Interesting quote from ting's fren:
"For a r/s between a gal n guy to work well, e guy muz love e gal a lot n e gal muz understand e guy a lot"
Hehehe, sounds right doesn't it? =)

BREEKS!!!!! hehehe i love breeks........always love e food there :) wat a great dinner i had.. *rubs tummy* hehehe i ate some fish main course which by now i've forgotten abt e name liao. LOL. hahahah cost me abt 12.50 inclusive of service charge, makes me veri happie leh. cheap somemore. Of coz, the company was great!!!! =) wat an eventful day.

hahaha besides that i did another thing i love a lot todae! =) which is to go to bookstores. hahahah actually i went for e past two days liao - friday went to mph at raffles city then todae went to kino at taka. hehehe next time anyone wans a siao bookstore fanatic for company can JIO me go ok? hehehehe, i juz simply love that environment.

oh the coming week is going to be lonely cause ting is heading for hongkong for holiday for a week! think she's boarding her flight now as i'm blogging. BON VOYAGE sis!!! korkor hope u enjoy ur shopping there! =) hugz. hope to cya soon sis!

'Us' n 'Them'

oooooo, hehehe i changed my blog template!!!! though i dun think that its a nicer blog template, but its still a veri refreshing change ya? in e short run, i'll keep this blog template while i take my time to look for one that is veri nice for e long run. quote: "nothing is permanent except change" =)

yeah, i'm back to e happie xingyou that u guys always knew :) 真的好开心。oh went to watch kingdom of heaven wif ting at causeway point on wed nite. (went causeway point cause cathay still 6.50 n we both wanna save money) hehehe was so fun loh..............time out wif someone special. anyway e tix cost 13 bucks in total, quite cheap we thought so we decided we will get a nacho's combo.

Ok, e nacho's combo cost $5.50. consist of some chips, an abundance of hot cheese as well as a drink. Sounds nice? nah, not when u see e drink is only of regular size, like mac's smallest coke size =S n e chips were pathetic........not to mention e hot cheese that didn't taste like cheese. *rantles on n on* but wat a waste of money, end up me n ting bought another drink for 2.20 cause e miserable regular size drink wasn't enough. end up e stupid nacho's combo spoilt my movie trip wif ting. but everything's lovely wif her around, tt's for sure. So lesson learnt, NO MORE NACHO'S COMBO ok ting? hehehehe

back to e show, for those who haven't watch it i recommend u go do so n for those who haf watched it, i haf some deep thoughts to share wif each one of u. Since the birth of this blog, i'll abstain from blogging abt my views on religion............maybe its time now to shed some light on how i feel abt these things. i'm a free thinker, so i dun not possess abt form of biasness towards any religion. They r all equal in my eyes. i've always respected ppl's choice of religion as well as all the religions.

i came to observe that a certain form of conflict exist in our world, be it abt religion or other stuff, stems from e inability of ppl to accomodate another group of ppl wif different lifestyles or different views. its a central theme from e module of geopolitics that i took last sem.

"The essential moment of geopolitical discourse is the division of space into 'our' place n 'their place', its political function is being to incorporate n regulate 'us' from 'them', the same from 'the other' "

E movie did bring up some thoughts that i've always been pondering... how do the muslim world see e christians in the present? how does christians view them back in return? can they accomodate e existance of each other? who does their god say abt each other? say abt buddhism n other religions? wat does buddha think abt all this?

Who's in e right religion n who's in e wrong religion? christians as well as muslims n buddhist will stand up n claim that their one path is e right one. but are they in e position to judge who's right n who's wrong? perhaps to them, it didn't occur that only e ppl outside of this can see e whole picture clearly..............can e christian community accept a person who has a muslim bf? can e muslim community do so vice versa? wat abt free thinkers? we can accept n respect e respective religions but can they do so in return? its obvious here that its e effect of regulation of us from them again.

E theme of e show is glaring..................................i cannot say that i'm a free thinker also i guess. cause i haf a religion of my own - e religion of e heart. A religion which i cannot go against my own conscience n my moral code. In this lifetime, i shall do good n no evil and if god doesn't understand this, then he is not my god.....tonite i'll pray that the world can be more accomodating to ppl who r different in theirs of views n perceptions. i'm sure it will be made more beautiful with less regulation of 'us' from 'them'. Cause for each one of 'us', there exist a mirror image of the 'other' juz that both are in different situations. i shall leave u fellas to ponder on ur own. =)

0420hrs

As e title of my entry suggests, e time now is 420am. Wat a nice time in the nite to be awake, so much tranquility around me.......i feel at peace. =) shall capture this moment down in this entry bah.

Todae was sweet. i chatted wif stella on msn juz b4 i left for dinner. Not much time to catch up wif her though, but we agreed to meet up for dinner together these few days. A spark to realli brighten up my day. *wide smile* hehehe i wonder how she's like le, bet she's still as lovely as i noe she is. realli looking forward to it in some sense.

hahaha, was dotaing halfway at abt 3pm juz now. looked around at my house n it was simply in a mess. so i wanted to give it a well deserved clean-up n matt's frens thought i'm an gay because i'm wanted to take a break to do some housework. Zzzzzzzzz, they dun seem veri polite do they? hahahah, an untidy house reali kinda messes up my mood to some extent. ok its veri untidy cause my brother took leave to come back home from taiwan for 5 days. u should see e state of my house b4 n after he came back. hahahaha i'm sure it will leave u pondering whether a storm swept through bukit batok west avenue 8.

oh after a heart to heart talk wif my mum on monday nite, i told her that i've decided not to go back to malaysia (originally planned to leave on this thursday) Was kinda frank wif her n i think she was veri surprised n glad that i'm voicing out some of my thoughts to her. oh, i juz told her that recently i'm not in e best of moods so i thought it will do me more good to stay around wif my circle of frens rather than going to visit my cousins who r working n might not haf time to pei me. hmmm, so tt's e good news - i can go for 65 class outing on saturday nite le. =) bet u guys miss me a lot after i skipped e last few gatherings. (will be taking nic's car btw) hahaha

A veri enjoyable way to spend my free time is to read e blogs of my close frens that i share my life so intimately wif. its a wonderful feeling to read abt the things that u do together wif them from their perspective. Take for example, e fantastic feeling of reading xz's blog which he expressed a lot of appreciation for tt present i got for him (some more i passed to him on e last day of exams) n considering that my financial status is not realli in a good shape (n e present wasn't veri cheap) now, it feels good to be appreciated. hehehe, juz read merv's n joanne's blog. nicenice :)

hehe, in a veri happie mood now thinking of ting at this moment. wat a big difference she has made to my life. i feel so much warmth n so cherished when she's around. =) 婷妹，korkor will veri 疼你，k? hehe k veri late le i go sleep liaozzzz. =)

vulgarities

HAHAHAHAHA, e time now is 526 am n i've juz finished my 10th dota game todae. hehehe, stayed at home e whole day. (one dota game averages 1hr++) hehehe, was so fun........ decided to blog now cause i've suddenly got e inspiration to blog!!!! after some many sucky entries abt me n my own self centered world, i finally thought of a nice topic to discuss. =)

hehehe, i shall on a veri interesting topic vulgarities or so called "bad words". i've came up wif a typical scenario that has happened time n time again.

conversation between guy 1, me n a gal:

guy1 (to xy): wah something cock up happen liao........that stupid person go did something idiotic to screw things up.
xy: WAT??!!?? Wat did that CB do?
gal1: (looks at xy in disbelief) wah u use vulgar language....................i didn't noe u were such a person u noe?
xy: ...............................................................

Another society stereotype...............i tried to debate my case in front of gal1 but to no avail. hahaha my impression of her has been tarnished. Who cares. hahahah
No, i dun advocate the persistant n massive use of vulgar language in everyday life. Some ppl like to use vulgar language for e sake of showing them off........they use it in inappropriate contexts n also quite frequently. sickening.

i'm a normal guy. i didn't grow up in a refined family, rather i came from a humble background. e only exception was that i did get good grades to get into good schools that's all. A lot of ppl debate that ppl start to use more vulgarities ever since they got into the army............i think it may be so n it may also not be so. From wat i learnt from e army, some seldom usage of vulgar language is a good form of expression of one's feelings n thoughts. its an avenue for us to vent certain forms of frustration n pekchekness. but one thing is for sure, when i use it in everyday life, there is no malice intended on my part........its juz a way of expressing myself.

I feel that life shouldn't be too restrictive.............we shouldn't impose too many restrictions onto ourselves ---- sometimes these same restrictions only serve to make us suffer more in a certain way. Quoting nic -" i've nvr use a single word of vulgar language in my everyday conversations."
Ok, so wat does that prove? that he's of a much better character than someone who uses vulgar language mildy? that he carries himself in a more respectable manner? i dun think so. do u? or r u one of those that will go "hor..............u used a bad word"

pls la, grow up...................its like such a kiddish statement.

quoting an everyday conversation:
guy 1: "er xy, that lecturer said that e midterm test will be pushed forward by a week"
xy: "wat the fuck?"

i'm sure there are other ways of expressing ourselves but i'm juz saying that sometimes mild usage of vulgarities is tolerable in our lives. its sometimes serve to alleviate some of those frustrations that plagued us in our everyday life. hence its usage can be justified. i wan to be myself, be able to express myself freely. that's y i dun wear a mask on my face when i talk to gals to impress them. i dun purposely behave veri well n unlike myself in front of them cause there is no need to.

i juz feel that in life, we shouldn't put up too many boundaries n restrictions around ourselves. they only serve to constrict the space that we can express ourself freely in. Its like saying any form of gambling is not tolerable..........cause gambling will lead to big debts etc etc. but wats wrong wif betting 2 - 10 bucks on 4-D everyweek? wats wrong wif playing a simple game of mahjong wif frens? its not like we play hundreds of dollars. only tens of stuff. of coz they can lead to more greed but i believe everyone should noe their limits. So in short, lets juz be ourselves n do that things that we feel good abt. =) its 601am le, i should go head for bed. Tata.

slacking

hehe, been slacking since e start of e holidays......nowadays got plenty of time to go read ppl's blogs n stuff. came across adrian's blog. oh dear, his last 3 entries were so sad can..............i reckon something horrendous muz haf happened - (muz haf broken up). Its a bad time of e year i guess cause simon broke up wif yiting after 3 years plus....... 真是祸不单行. n so did zhiliang.

*hugz* to all of u guys k? suddenly i'm flooded by a lot of 感触 again. hahaha, i'm always so emotional n full of feelings. I remed that during secondary school when i chatted wif Lifang over e phone occasionally, she mentioned that i'm blessed wif a veri special ability to feel a lot...........to feel wif my heart. But having this ability also meant some tradeoffs r inevitable. At times of my life, i find it veri hard to restrain n control my feelings. i wonder if it has brought me more good or harm.

i think throughout my life, i've been blessed wif a lot of frens. Having great frens around my side is something that i nvr had to worry abt. They seem to come so naturally n easily to me. its been veri evident during my sec school, jc as well as army frens. Even my msn frens like sheena, shuping and yuanli are fantastic ppl to be around wif. as well as my wonderful frens in cn5. Frens haf became an integral part of my life, in fact they haf already become a part of myself i guess. Something which i'm veri grateful cause a good environment of frens actually do a lot of my personal character building.

ting mentioned last nite that i'm veri good at consoling ppl n making them feel good abt themselves. hehehehe i hope n i'll do my best to spread e happiness that's in my heart n soul to e ppl around me. to infect them wif lotz of love n happie times, to make a difference to their lives.

happiehappiehappiehappiehappie

heheheh, wat a wonderful day i had. Started wif a wonderful lunch wif ting at holland v thai express. e food there was superb (recommended by alice) n great value for money. hehehe after tt i went to jp to meet up wif my frens n took cab to school to play soccer. Soccer was great, had a good work out n felt veri good after some running. Then went for dinner at jap restuarant in west mall. hahahah came home n taught xz how to play dota. totally shacked out liao. somemore juz reached home from supper wif matt, minjie, nic n yh. ooooooooooooooooooooooooo i love my life. *hugz*

i muz say i'm one lucky fella to haf so many close frens around me. i appreciate u guys lotz ya? my life will be so different w/o any one of u ppl. hehehe love all of u lotz.

moving on

i'm in a veri happie mood now. =) finally relieved a big burden that is causing myself so much pain. finally let it go...........

Life's so beautiful...........so many surprises await me in the future. =) i feel a veri strong sense of happiness in my heart. ok, so excited cause tml me n ting going to somewhere nice to haf lunch together. =D hahahaha u guys enjoy urselves ok? After 11am todae, u guys can finally breathe easy n put this tough exam period behind us. Hehehe, we shall haf a lot of fun this holidays! cheers.

=)

hehehe, finally update my blog again. =) think i'd put that song up for quite a few days so i took it down cause i heard a lot of complains abt how lag it affects my blog. Paiseh ok? its meant for someone special :)

thx a lot for e support u ppl show for my blog. i haf to admit i realli haf no mood to blog nowadays. like wat sheena n i were discussing last week, sometimes when u blog too much u start to feel that a part of u is lost. think for this short period of time, i will like to keep my thoughts to myself, to be alone in that aspect. =)

take care during e holidays guys. love u all lotz.

Dedication =)

juz uploaded a song onto my blog. hope u guys can hear it. if cannot wait a while then refresh ok?

This song is dedicated for u.............................the most special person in my life. =)

一千年以后

心跳乱了节奏
梦也不自由
爱时的绝对承诺不说
沉到一千年以后
放任无奈淹没尘埃
我在废墟之中守着你走来
我的泪光承载不了
所有一切你要的爱

因为在一千年以后
世界早已没有我
无法深情挽着你的手
浅吻着你额头
别等到一千年以后
所有人都遗忘了我
那时红色黄昏的沙漠
能有谁解开刹那千年的寂寞

Cherishing everyone around u

decided to blog now since i tried to sleep after i woke up n i failed. miserably........can't seem to sleep well at all nowadays. perhaps a sign that i'm subconsicously perturbed, guess things will get better in e future. =)

It was another nightmare............its those type of dream that's realli ok n nothing special one. then all e long build-up led to the last scene that shook me so so much. i was so hurt in e dream....but luckily i woke up. =)

i had a great day after e MTO paper, went wif miaoling alone to JE to eat then we went to arcade to play bishi-bashi. a shame that lindy can't join us cause its so fun to play 3 person rather than 2. nvrtheless, i told miaoling how much i appreciated her company, considering these days when everyone's got to do their own stuff n i'm so lonely at times. After e completion of all e bishi-bashi stages, miaoling won 11 n i won 9. =( n out of those 11 times, 2 times was draw n she caught me by surprise by hitting veri fast in e tiebreaker. =S cheat my feelings hahaha.

This period has been a tough one for me................then to lose focus easily n my mood swings r siao one. Now, i feel relatively better. =) thanks to e extremely nice white hello kitty that ting t-loan me (hehe i bought it for her one in e first place) as well as e list of 12 affirmations which i pined up on e soft board on e wall beside my study table. Affirmations work real well when u r down.............u guys should try it. Write down all e positive thoughts on a piece of paper n then keep looking at it. =)

Went to pei ys at his father wake juz now. =) he passed away when he's onli 53. so young................(makes me think that i'm already 22 ++ now) Life is so fragile. always learn to cherish e ppl around u. sigh, its sad to go for funerals, brings back sad memories abt e one that i'm involved. now, out of e 9 of my good guy frens, 3 have lost their fathers...but time wouldn't stand still for us n our loved ones. i guess we juz haf to move on n carry on wif our lives. Sigh....One of e nites last week i told ting that if one day i should die young, i wan to be holding her hand if possible on that moment i leave this world..onli then will i leave in peace n feeling so loved.

At this moment in my life, i can gladly tell myself that i've lived my life e best way i noe how in e past 22 years...........n will continue to do so........Live in e moment, cherish my frens and family. =)

Xiang juz added me to e shared 4M blog........hehehe i'll be making my guest blog entries there as well. =)

Pain

Most of e time, pain arises within u cause something hurtful has struck u badly.............
Sometimes, it arises cause u noe there is nothing u can do to stop those things from happening.
E rest of e time, pain arises cause u noe that u cannot share e pain of that special someone u love n there's nothing u can do abt it.

i guess u guys should noe which one hurts e most...........

加油 xingyou =)

hello guys. its 1256 am now. i juz woke up halfway from my sleep. the pdc paper juz now was ok...........hmmm i dun realli like to talk n discuss abt papers that haf passed. =) we should all be looking forward n thinking abt e next paper (kinetics).

This week is a testing period for me. 3 papers in 3 days.......difficult modules somemore. i was prepared for a week of mental 煎熬。 thought maybe i could do my best for some papers n forgo e rest. not sure whether it works but i guess for everything u wan to do well in life, there's always a payoff in another part which u haf to sacrifice. its seems that things r not turning well for me, sigh........................................i planned to sleep from 9pm - 3am n then study for kinetics till 7. my mind's killing me now. all e mental toll from e past two months is realli starting to set in. i didn't sleep well at all. slept from 1030-1230, e rest of e time i was suffering. =( have a damn bad pounding headache pounding on my head now. how disappointing to buckle under stress so easily n so fast.

(To xingyou) pls be strong..........pick urself up from e slump. u haf a character strong n tough enough (sounds like robust controller =p) to go through this testing period. pls dun let urself down........everyone is behind u, supporting n pulling u along. Haf faith in urself, u r e best! *hugz*

hehe, ok i'm realli going mad. blogging abt my thoughts to myself. hahahahaha take care everyone. take care ting.........korkor will always be here for u, no matter wat happens. u r so special =)

Exam time. Good luck to CN5 ppl =)

i'm impressed at myself............heheheh 5pm pdc paper (2.5) hours, i still have e mood to blog now. hahahahaha. ok la everyone muz 加油, its e start of our 3 day marathon ya? after this, we'll breathe nice n easy. *grinz* Exams is 40% preparation, 30% luck and 30% 临场表现。hehehe i always try to score in e last one :) good luck guys, love all of u lotz n let us do well this sem =) *hugz*

ps............my seat no. for e first paper is 44 - wat a good omen =S

Dun u guys agree that now is e eleventh hour? hahahaha i find it veri appropriate. Hehe can refer to my blog entry last time here to noe wats it abt.

some thoughts

slept 6 hrs again, from 4-10 am. *yawn* feeling sleepy now again. i love e soothing sound of e piano.....................it makes me feel so good.

Some thoughts:
i yearn to haf love in my life............i wan to love n be loved. i'm afraid of loneliness all e time. =) i wan to undergo e whole experience of being in love. it will be sweet n it might hurt veri badly. but e experience will be once in a lifetime. There's so much i wanna do for e person i love, so much i wanna share wif her. i wonder where can i find such a special person around...........been looking for her for 22 years already. its a tiring journey to find her.................is she looking for me as well? i can't see her in e crowds of ppl in front of me, so demoralising. =( She muz haf that special character of gold which i'm looking for (which is veri rare)........................looks dun matter........................ i wonder when i'll see her around in my life. i'll run up to her n give her a big hug n tell her nvr to leave me again, for my life is incomplete w/o her. i hope she cries then n tell me e same words back. n i noe for that special moment to happen in my life, all e heartbreaks that i've suffered b4 will be worth it. =)

i hope life is fair when it is not. i hope fate will have some surprise for me.............. i'll wait patiently juz as i've waited for so long...........................................

我和平凡人并没有不同，只是用力唱出一首情歌让自己感动。

my future

hehe regarding my msn nick (i'm e world's greatest), no i'm not an big ego. hahahaha its a veri nice n motivating song that sheena send me yesterday. thx gal, its realli nice of u to share something so nice wif me. anyway, whoever wans this song (the world's greatest) can msg me over msn to ask for it. =)

yesterday nite, i was at nic's house studying =) hehehehe mr nic(e) treated me to a meal of burger king + free nuggets. (no wonder ppl call him robert - si bei generous.................thx robert anyway hehe) nono, e 重点 was not abt e burger king meal nor e mugging notes nor e milo drink that nic gave me tt felt funnie (which i threw away instantly) =p. rather it was e interesting conversation btw me, nic n his father........

oh we started off discussing abt nic's new car which is due to come within e next one or two weeks. came as a shocker to me.........................i didn't noe he already settled all e admin stuff n stuff. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, it seems now that everything is in place except e arrival of e car. i'm realli impressed, he actually "bought e car" on e day he passed his driving. WOW. how cool is that. After that, we were calculating all those bills and the price he haf to pay for e luxury of driving. i shuddered, wow its a lot of money concerned............car monthly installments, petrol cost, parking, road tax and car maintainence. HAHA, n nic's father was like trying to scare his son by mentioning that e tyres need changing in time to come + car battery + lubricant oil. Hehehe, u should see e look on nic's face. i think robert will be robert no more le this holidays so guys u ppl better look to e other robert for treats (ys).

Anyway, 话我说在前头，e person wif e best cap for this sem better give a big treat hor. =) *rolls eyes* last two sems like e person who got e highest nvr give treat hor? *spankspank* this time 自动 hor.

ok back to e main topic, i was telling abt nic regarding my plans for my future.........regarding money, job n material luxuries. we had a hearty time discussing this topic abt our future. =)

i have a veri clear picture of wat i'll be doing n wan to achieve in the near future (next ten years). in fact i'm confident that i'll make it, make my mark soon. i'm excited in some sense cause i haf a vision of where i wanna be at e end of 2015. of coz, this is not 纸上谈兵. cause i'm willing to work veri hard for every bit of my ideals n ambitions. hmmm, e start might be slow, might be in e backward direction but i'm quite sure e journey will be worth it. i think i've to learn to be more determined to climb up from my failures more quickly in order to succeed faster. =)

how abt u guys? having e determination n conviction to succeed is already half of e battle won. issn't it? it will pave for e way for greater things to come along e way. this logic or law seems to manifest itself in watever u do: studies, games, sports, work and life in general. =) i dun not believe e human mind haf limitations, cause i come to realise watever limitations in e mind are self-inflicted. k i shan't blog too much abt this cause its quite a sensitive topic. take care for ur exams guys. =)

the pillar of my life =)

nothing in words can express how i feel towards u.........i shall let my actions speak for themselves. =) u haf been there for me, rain or shine. There is a long road in front of us n we shall walk it together hand in hand =) we'll overcome all e obstacles together n find happiness. life's so great wif u around me. thx for everything u haf brought into my life to brighten it up. thx ting.

the things i wanna do when holidays come =)

hehehe since i'm in such a good mood now i shall list down e things i'll do during this holiday.

1) intensive soccer. its been a few years n my soccer is realli stagnant liao.............sigh plagued by injury problems n lack of match fitness. i'll buck up during e holidays to try to break into first team.

2) hehehe guys we MUZ go for ktv together ok? last paper then all go together.......so much new songs to sing. i wanna sing li sheng jie's songs like 痴心绝对 n 手放开。and all those 光良 songs -------------- so nice leh. can make ys try F.I.R songs too neh. =p

3) we shall meet up for our usual holiday overnite stays at nic's matt's or my house k? hehehe we'll bring all our laptops n mass dota until we die. i got so much to teach xz n yh. =p

4) holidays i'll meet up often wif ting to go shopshop, walkwalk and eat kfc like how we spend our last 2 holidays. =) hope u r looking forward to it sis *hugZ* we always do enjoy our time alone together ya? sis arh, we go for a stroll n cycling in e beach alone ok? hehehe like wat we were discussing yesterday nite. it will be great i'm sure.

5) planned to go back malaysia for abt at least 4 days to visit my favourite cousin b4 he flys off to london for a year of further studies. *sounds rich right?* ya he's rich. hehehe i can't wait to let him drive me around malacca n go walkwalk seesee. hehehe during new year we went to all e pub districts to spot e pretty gals there =) i wanna see my grandma, think she's 86 n 87 le. hehehehe my mum's going back to cut her hair for her. so sweet right? then i can go see my favourite uncle but i think i should go get some gifts first.

6) we shall play winning eleven often - 老虎不发威，　你们当我是病猫。hmmm, i shall be back to my veri best.

7) i wanna get some books on financial literacy to read through n be more financially well informed abt my choices in life next time. think it will take some time to choose e better ones.

8) guys, we plan a class outing ok? go orchard walk walk wif e class gals like xueni n qiuting then we can go for dinner at a nice place. hehehehe i can't wait to see her liao. all muz rem to start preparing for xueni's angpoh ok? *wink*

9) i hope xiang is coming back this holidays...............hehehe we can go somewhere sit down wif ping n gang n talk cock manz.............. =)

10) MORE n MORE suppers. heheheheh so excited. when nic gets a car, hehehe total car drivers == 4. wah more than enough. i shall be e MT line ps - do detail sheet for duty rooster. but of coz always pick up e PS first. (PS = platoon sergeant)

wah, i wrote 10 le but there's so much MORE. i can't wait for holidays to come...................cause now i'm mugging so all e time recently, i'll tend to 胡思乱想。but this will all change when its time to play!!!!! u ppl muz keep me company hor, hehehe make sure i dun feel lonely ok? i feel so much happier n cheerful when i'm around wif u ppl. *hugz*

Good luck!!!

加油 to all those who r taking e engin prof paper tomolo at 9am. hehehe prof eng here wishing u guys all e best =) it will be a great start to e exams ya? muz do well neh. *hugz* =)

i love u guys =)

woke up at 1130 am. *perturbed* juz kena 2 bad dreams. =( i'm shaken. hehehe, but after sharing those dreams wif ting, felt so much better. =) 小妹，u are realli e gem in my eyes. *hugz*

i shall dedicate this entry to my clique of guy frens:

Nicholas, Xianzhi, Yuanheng, Matthew, Yisheng, Weijie, Mervyn, Minjie.

hehehehe, i'm wanna tell u all how grateful i am to haf a group of frens like u guys around me. =) its been a lot of happie memories together n i'm glad that i've chosen e correct frens to stick around wif. its been a veri tough period for us............we'll go through it together ya? will not leave any man behind, including u yuanheng. i'll make sure i pull u up too...dun be sad k? we are all here for u.

To nic: hmmm, although we had a lot of epic disagreements n arguments, we are still veri close frens ya? rem tt time we both quarrelled in jc n refused to talk to each other for a veri long period? then in e end we patched up cause i apologised. n u noe i apologised not because i was in e wrong but because i didn't wanna lose a great fren. Rem e time during jc when we two were e total slackers, skipped so much lecture? we went to each other's house to challenge winning eleven (W.E) epic 5-5 draw. u are always e captain in our eyes. an inspirational figure for e rest of us to follow. muz 加油 k? this holidays we'll haf fun together.

To xianzhi: u have been a great fren, one tt i can always share my troubles wif since jc. Rem j1? i realise that u like to live in ur own comfort zone of frens, so it was realli during j2 when our friendship realli start to take off. now, u are my 知己 liao. wat a long distance we have travelled together.... my favourite W.E 2 v 2 partner though we lost more than we won. =S e times when i used to go ur house to spend time together during holidays was another big part of our memories together. + ur favourite nasi lemak at my house here. =) thx for helping me score A for programming also. w/o u i wouldn't haf done it. =)

To yuanheng: u r definitely e most sensitive guy in our clique, (other than me of coz) hehehehe always so thoughtful of other ppl's feelings. definitely one of e smartest around, though we always suan that u look blur n suck xz's brain cells. rem our hwachong days? when we go pia food at coronation then i'll take 174 wif u together back home. =) then we'll chit chat happily on e way back. u haf gave me a lot of support along e way. picked me up when i'm discouraged so now its time for me to be there for u. hmmm, u always seem confused abt e incoming period of adulthood into ur life. but its ok la, cause we are all here to experience it together. to 陪你。

To matthew: =) hehehe i owe u n yh so much. rem last time 黄城 u guys helped me wif all those costumes tt i haf to do. paint this n that for free. somemore both of u two did such a good job. n in e end i got all e praises for it. =p paiseh. hmmmm, we've been through a lot together also. all those wc sessions i'll go to ur house to play lan together. Rem ur birthday party which we had SO SO much fun wif e group pictionary thingy? hehehe it was so good. i'm glad that u haf finally put wanxuan out of ur mind n move on. that period of time i was realli trying veri veri hard to get e two of u to give each other another chance again. juz wanted to give u a big helping hand along e way when u r down. anyway, try to spend more time wif us, we miss u lotz =)

To yisheng: *hugz* u r surely a veri important person in my mind. my best AT partner(lvl29) thx for keeping me company totally during last sem's exam. u make ppl feel veri good around u. tt's if u dun fly aeroplane n spend more time wif me n e rest of e guys. thx for bearing wif me whenever we lost in AT n i'll hammer u upside down cause ur farseer n t.c. is still lvl 2 n lvl 1.
we had SO many epic games together. i missed e time we went swimming together also hope we can catch up on tt during e holidays. hehehe, btw for e amount of dota u play, u still suck so u haf to play a lot more. hehehe =) i like e way u r generous wif ur money when u r wif ur frens. aiyah we haf so much in common. juz wanna let u noe i realli appreciate u a lot.

To weijie: hehehe, my fellow eng brother. hmmm in e short period i come to get to noe u better, i think u r a wonderful person to be wif. our friendship is taking off fast n smoothly as well. even though we always scold u for ur corny n dirty jokes, we realli appreciate them a lot hehehe brightens up e day. but tt of coz is not reason for u to abuse this priviledge. i'm grateful that u haf been beside nic, me, xz and yh through all the recent things that happen. its good to see someone who is so happie n enjoying his singlehood serving as a role model for us. of coz la, talking abt singlehood, i'm confirmed e "old bird" around. so u better respect a bit. =p thx for all e free cab rides back from nic's house. this holiday u confirm will take more cab. hehehe

To mervyn: hmmm dun realli haf a chance to get to noe u well yet. hopefully we can build e bond between us. sorry i like to suan u so much last time, cause i used to think that u r a veri showy person. hehehehe paiseh paiseh, u are another veri likable guy. a fact tt i found out after all e supper outings n stuff. hehehe, i'm glad that u r happily attached. it feels good to feel happie for a fellow fren in love. hehehe rem last holiday, u came my house quite frequently to play ps2? hehehe this time cannot liao cause my brother took e ps2 to taiwan. hmmmm anyway dota dun so hum k? hehehe *abish* i love ur blog also.

To minjie: hmmm, i can understand e feeling of losing ur father :) *hugz* i'm here for u always, be it mental support, monetary support. i'll do my best. hmmm we haf a lot of good memories in soccer. u will always haf my respect as e bravest n best centerback :) hehehe rem all those defensive cock-ups we haf? hehehe sometimes its u sometimes its me, but all get scolded by nic.
hehehe, i shall try to suan u less n be more sensitive. sometimes when i go overboard juz give me a good talking to. i wish u all e best in ur love life as well =) hehehe we two should try to get out of e singles club long membership award. Also, i like watching soccer together wif u at nic's house. heheheh veri good company.

hehehehehehe

happie liao.............hehehe got my internet back le. somemore i can sense tt e speed of connection is much faster le. *satisfied look*

it seems that many people are suspecting some scandal going on btw ting n me cause we are spending so much time together wif each other. nothing new anyway, been hearing those comments for e past year. usually e ppl who say those comments r those ppl who dun realli understand my character n personality. i think time has proven a lot - it has proven a lot of our sincerity n effort to maintain this close frenship of ours, it has proven that we are purely platonic frens. =) i'm sure over e time i'm wif ting, a lot of ppl and frens haf realise that this bond between us is veri strong n veri platonic. it will surely last e test of time, which cannot be said for other forms of r/s nowadays. its nice to see frens and ppl understanding her special status in my life. frens like alice, yz, peijia, xz, weijie, jw, ruinie who all noe how special she is to me :)

i haf to admit i treat her veri well but like wat i told her yesterday which she agrees, i dun not go out of e way to treat her realli well. That priviledge is left for e one gal tt i love :) n it will be special.

Looking at xz's blog entry abt his travel plans for his coming SEP in sem 6, i have quite a lot of 感触. me n weijie haf one thing in common which we agreed on, we love to live in our own comfort zone..........so we may be relunctant to wander to places beyond tt i guess. Contrary to wat ppl think abt me, i'll love to go for SEP programs.......... i wan to see e world, i wan to live e lifestyles n learn e other cultures of e people around e world. I wan to go for tours in Europe, i wan to visit e great historical sites in e world. to Paris, Berlin, London n many many more wonderful cities.

Sometimes life is 无奈. e truth is i cannot afford e go for an SEP program. i cannot afford to take tours around europe cause my family cannot afford it. its a priviledge that i was not entitled to since e day i was born. Even if i was sponsored to go wif all expenses paid, i'll refuse e offer.......... sounds stupid? no. cause if i go for exchange, my mum will be left alone at home all by herself. she's old le and i 放心不下. but it doesn't mean any lesser desire on my part to see e world. i juz haf to compromise n wait for a later date, tt's all. i'm envious of those who haf e priviledge, envious of those who dun haf responsiblities to burden them here, envious of their ability to afford.

i'm sad n jealous of this priviledge........i'm tired of being poor n being unable to afford luxuries for myself. but i haf to bear on a bit more cause i noe my time is coming. its coming real soon i can feel it. soon i shall take charge of my life n work for wat i wan in life. It will be a big change cause my mum can finally stop work n sit down to relax e fruits of her labour after bringing me up for 22 years.

i'm tired............................i can't sleep well in recent days..............6 hours of sleep every nite which i'll constantly wake up n feel upset for no reason. n i can't sleep anymore after tt. I can't wait for time to pass quickly.....................time will help. =)


Quote from Macbeth: "i am in blood stepped in so far that, should i wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er"

so PISSED..........................

i'm in a pissed mood..........................bloody pissed.......................................wif SINGNET. i'm so pissed that tml morning i shall wake up at 10am, dial 1610 (singnet hotline) to give e operator a BIG piece of my mind. 气死我了.
since friday, i have had no internet connection at home..............till now monday nite still dun haf neh............................4 days w/o net can realli kill me. *xy collapses onto e floor, stabbed in e heart by a red dagger wif e singnet tag* n NO, its not because i didn't pay my internet bills in time or because someone set fire to my adsl line at my house. =S

it all begun last last friday when i went wif my mum to e west mall singtel shop to sign up for a new plan for broadband after e trip to temple to 拜拜 for 清明节 reasons. ok, e pretty lady attending to me told me that she had to cut off my mum's singnet account so tt i can sign up for e student's plan. E most suay part was after 5 days, my mum's account will be terminated then e next working day my account will be activated --------------------which is monday. (todae) suay right? of all days i muz choose FRIDAY, noeing that saturday is no longer a working day liao. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Tt lady attending to me told me that within those 5 working days, singnet will send me a letter stating my account password n stuff. ok i believed her..........................cause she's pretty n chio =p
my type. hehehe looks 斯文enough, long hair nice eyes. good figure =) i thought she looked 乖 hahaha but after noticing e tattoo on her hip i think i changed my mind abt e 乖 ness part.
to think i trust her n until now 6 working days, MY bloody LETTER haven't come!!!!! i'm so angry now...........i feel like raping her to vent my anger (joking of coz). hahah might be worth considering cause she's chio. =p so on monday nite, i haf no password nor account number to log in to my bloody new singnet account.............. ARGH, i was so pissed i took e bus direct to nic's house to use internet. so here i am now venting my veri obvious frustration at e bloody singnet admin.............................my name too scary issit? muz lose my letter arh.....

*decides to whack whoever's within sight*
*shuping runs in n kena whack by accident*
*opps =p*

ok, i've 发泄 enough so i shall go back to my happie mood todae. *gossipgossip* wah nic ang one day 4-5 entries.........................si bei hiong, this time sure qie us to be most popular blog.......... look at his tagboard hahahah all so sore wif him somemore. =) (go read xz's tagboard also)

Anyway vijay's private blog is not so private anymore after reading those tags on his board..........we were all wondering how steph stumbled onto his blog also....................hehehehe aiyah no place for us to gossip anymore le. we need to create a private blog for all our dicussions guys.............. i dun mind being e host =p. i stumbled onto 阿颖 blog also........ love u lotz gal, i'll support ur blog...................rem i'm onli one phone call away from u. any problems muz share wif me ok?

After studying together, me, xz, merv and weijie unanimously conclude that wif reference to joanne's entry (here) that more n more vulgarities r spoken among our study group. Weiming is e culprit n e top frag todae wif e most @#$@$@$#@ =) hehehe so its not because of ME NOR WEIJIE.

Frens =) Part1

hehehe, got some inspiration from weixiang's blog entry so i've decided to write mine on frens also......................

i shall start from my frens in rv............i was in class 1D(95) n 2D(96) hahahaha super notorious class wif all e bad kids who always nvr seem to get out of trouble (me included) tt's y in sec 2 my form teacher put e 6 most notorious guys in front of each of e 6 rows in class :) as u can guessed i'm one of them...=p its interesting to see how sometimes u r so close to certain frens, and then when its time to part ways u nvr seem to hear from them again. kinda showing how tt fragile frenship can't withstand e test of time. i'm sure u guys will 认同 my point. =)

Luckily during sec 2, i bucked up in my studies (65% for first half of e year) n then (69.8% overall for e year) so it was a twist of fact tt i got into 3M in 1997. hahahha its suppose to be e second top best class wif a cut off entry point of 70%. heheheheh so i was so damn bloody heng to get in there. i remed 6 of my 2D frens made it there too..........weiping, kenneth, adrian, andrea, jingyi and felicia.

shall give u an intro to my sec 3 n 4 class..................perhaps we were 3M for 3(mad)? hehehe ok my class was e most happening class ever for a long time in rv i think..........hahahaha, erm i dun mean happening in e form of results cause 4L (e best class) always seem to do a chelsea on us.........(implying thrash us like mad) hehehe we were E most noisy class in whole level. our form teacher, Mr Ang, got shot like hell by a lot of teachers during meetings for failing to discipline e class. i'm sure a lot of u rv frens noe who's Mr Ang, e super nice guy..............hehehe maybe tt's e reason behind y he always kena aim by others. =)

hmmm i remed we pasted posters n nursery rhythms around e class. heheheh, can u guys rem 蔡老师? e all time super fierce teacher who always terrorizes e whole level. i'm sure those observant ones of u noe tt i'm super good at spinning pens...............back spin, front spin, 2 rounds, etc ,etc hahahaha i used to drop my pens a lot in class. then she got SO FED up wif me tt she impose e horrifying rule of confiscating anyone's pen if it drops on e floor. of coz i was e top on e list of confiscated pens. last time lunch break always go bookshop buy more pens *grinz* hahaha in e end she realise that e law was not working, so she imposed a (50cents penalty) for every pen tt dropped in e class to e class fund. =S hehe i remed me kenneth calee n weiping n gang went to buy this height chart for kids pasted at kindergardens n stuff. we bought on for where e limit was 155-160cm i think hahahah then we pasted e height chart on wall beside e front door of our class s9 tt we can take note of e ppl who are within range of e chart (shorter than e chart) hehehehe so funnie tt 蔡老师 was also one of them *wink*

for those of u who are wondering how come e class chairperson n secretary didn't stop all this nonsense n stupid stuff. hehehe our class chairperson was calee n e secretary was kenneth. LOL, e two masterminds.

i remed one time during assembly in e hall where our class was standing in one horizontal line n we were e last line cause we were 4M and we were supposed to sing e school song during e routine friday assembly. cause we were veri playful then we made a bet to see who can sing e school song E LOUDEST. i remed kenneth me n quan were in e bet. aiyah u guys noe school songs right, everyone will juz whimper n like 敷衍 to be singing n stuff. So when e music started, kenneth sang SO DAMN BLOODY loudly that everyone was laughing like shit. it was so loud tt all e 4L gals in front were like so shocked at him( say he siao la) then e guys of our class cannot tahan all wan to roll on e floor n laugh like mad...... but e stupid row of teachers at e side meant tt we haf to tahan our laughter n stuff n stand up straight. hehehehe e worst thing was kenneth didn't laugh throughout e whole thing n was like screaming e school song. *laughs* nice memories. heheheh i shall continue more in e next entry =)

小妹，谢谢你。

sorting out my thoughts now, hesitated over 10mins wif no particular inspiration coming to my mind to blog abt..........guess i'll juz let my thoughts flow freely tonite in this entry. earlier todae i've made a decision to stop blogging for e coming 2 weeks..............................................hmmm but after coming online n noticing that there is quite a no. of frens are following n showing me support for my blog..........i've decided to keep it going............ =)

hehehe, i'm sure those observant ones of u will have noticed the 2 new links on my blog......hehehe joanne's and nic's. hmmmm, mr nicholas has juz resurrected his blog after 2-3 months of death. *rolls eyes* i wonder how long will his passion for blogging last this time...........perhaps as short as e last time. hahahaha, we shall see........ =)

i love xiang's blog..................to think i took quite long to really figure out wat his lastest entry was abt. wow, its realli a veri innovative n refreshing way of phrasing e topic. *pat on the back* i've enjoyed reading it pal....................thought e story btw u n quan sounds realli sad cause i noe both of u personally.........to think e friendship was so strong last time that we all thought it was going to last. how wrong were we............

ting, thx for being there for me last nite =) ................................nothing in words can describe how grateful i am to u. For being physically n mentally beside me when i needed u e most, when i needed support n help. we've build such a strong bond between e two of us, muz cherish together ok? i won't forget wat u told me last nite.................i hope u won't forgot wat i said too........tt sentence i said b4 u went up e lift. *hugz*